The Surprise – Part 1

The Surprise

by MR

“Are you going to donate blood today, dear?”
“Yes, I’m a bit excited.”
“Do not worry, it is not so bad. A little jab and then the blood runs. But do not get up immediately, but stay a bit longer and eat something after the blood donation.”
“Yes Mama”
Finally the time has come and I was allowed to donate blood for the first time. If more people had donated blood, my father could still have been live. Just because too few blood supplies were available, the doctors could not save my father’s life. Due to an unfortunate circumstance, an artery has been torn in an accident. The doctors could not close the artery, the blood loss was getting bigger. Ultimately, the blood ran out. In the immediate vicinity there were no other possibilities to deliver fresh supplies in time. This is how my father died, although this could have been prevented if there had been sufficient supplies of blood.
For me it is clear that I would donate blood in order to help other people who are dependent on stored blood.
“Melanie, phone for you!” my mother called.
“Melanie Meier,” I answered.
“Hello, this is Anne-Marie Bungert from the Red Cross. Ms. Meier I’ll get right to the point: the blood group in your vaccination record does not match the blood type we found after the donation,”Ms. Bungert said, straight to the point.
“And what does that mean for the blood donation and for me? Can not you use my blood donation?” I asked, confused.
“Of course we can use the donation, it’s just that there is a wrong blood type in your vaccination record, which can lead to massive problems in the case of a required blood transfusion,” explained Ms. Bungert.
“Did you also check that out exactly?” I ask back.
“Mrs. Meier, we have analyzed this twice. After we found this deviation, we had the blood examined a third time and the third analysis showed the same result. The blood type in your vaccination certificate differs from the blood type detected. I suspect that the hospital wrongly recorded it at birth. This should not happen, but obviously it does happen occasionally,”Mrs. Bungert explained to me.
“But there is another possibility that, I hope, is not true. According to the vaccination certificate, you have blood type A, but in fact we have detected blood type B. Your mother has blood type A according to our records. I do not know the blood type of your father. It should be B or AB. Otherwise, being descended from those parents will be a biological impossibility,” added Ms Bungert.
“What?” I had heard the words, but I could not divulge them. That could not be. It must be a mistake! Or a mistake in the analysis.
“But how is that supposed to be possible, that I was confused? And it cannot be that the analysis was flawed.” I clung to the last straw.
“Unfortunately, no. The analysis has delivered the same result 3 times. I’m sorry,” I heard Mrs. Bungert say before I hung up. This phone call had pulled the ground out from under my feet. Everything that was safe in the last 19 years was suddenly in question. I did not know what was real and what was fake. My eyes went black.
“Dear, are you feeling better? What happened, what did Mrs. Bungert tell you, is anything wrong?” my mother wanted to know about me.
“Nothing is alright,” I replied only briefly
“What is it, what did Ms. Bungert say?” Was this my mother who is asking or is she not my mother? It’s all so confusing.
“What happened after my birth?” I ask abruptly.
My mother just looked at me blankly.
“Mrs. Bungert said I can not descend from you because the blood types do not fit together,” I harshly replied, since my first thought was that I was adopted and my parents had kept this from me for all those years.
“What? What did you say?” was all that my mother could stammer.
“I have blood type B and not A as it is in the vaccination record,” I replied.
“I do not understand a word,” said my mother, still uncomprehending.
“You have blood group A and dad had blood group 0. This combination can never lead to blood type B, which I have. That is completely impossible. So it’s clear that I’m not descended from you. Did you adopt me?” I asked abruptly
“No of course not. You are our child and you are not adopted. You know all the old pictures on which I was pregnant. And all the medical reports because you were born too soon. Do you think we invented it all? “My mother raged before she burst into tears.
“Sorry I did not mean to hurt you. But it’s all so confusing. I do not really know what to believe or think. That came so surprisingly. It is incredible and cannot be dismissed. I know you would never lie to me,” I tried to reassure her.
“We should think carefully about what we want to do now and think about what might have happened. It is clear that I have a blood type that definitely excludes a descent from you. If you have not adopted me, there are really only two possibilities. Either I was swapped in the hospital or you had an affair. Excuse me if I say this so openly, but I do not know what to think at the moment.”
“Do you really imagine that I would cheat on your father?” my mother asked, tears now in her eyes.
“No of course not. It’s all so confusing, everything that was clear and clear before but now it is completely different from one moment to the other and I do not know where it’s going to end. I only analysed the alternatives. Since you did not cheat on dad, all that’s left is that I got swapped in the hospital, which does not make the whole story any better.”
We both sat slumped in the sitting area and were silent. No one knew what to say. Everything that was still certain had vanished. Who were my parents, did they still live and if so where? And above all, how could such a thing happen and who is responsible for it? Questions about questions and no answers. I did not even know where to start.
“Honey we should first put together everything we know and then think about where to start researching. “My mother got caught again and began to analyse the problem objectively.
In the next few hours we wrote down everything and analysed what we know. It was not much. I was born too early and was taken to a premature ward in the hospital in the next big city. My mother told me how it all ended. Due to complications, the gynaecologist has her admitted to the hospital. Since the district hospital is not set up for such a birth, my mother was immediately flown to the university hospital in the state capital. There my mother came immediately into the operation and I was born by Caesarian section.
Although my father was informed and then drove immediately to the district hospital, he came too late and then raced in violation of pretty much all traffic rules in the university hospital.
When he arrived, it was all over and my mother was in intensive care for observation.
I lay in an incubator on the premature baby ward and was cared for there. My father could not see me or my mother like that.
It was not until my mother woke up and there were no worries that I was moved from premature ward to a normal ward and my dad finally saw me.
Neither of them had any information about my health at the time.
A short time later, the attending physician came and informed my parents. The operation had gone without complications. I also felt well in the circumstances, but I had to stay at the premature ward station for a while. My parents were only allowed to see me through a window at first. Slowly but surely I developed and after two months I was able to go home.
The birth was dramatic, but how could it be that I was mistaken. The time at the preterm station was completely in the dark.
I have blood type B, my mother has blood type A and my father had blood type 0. My vaccination card is blood type A. Since I can not descend from my parents due to the blood group constellation, it can actually have been in the hospital that this confusion had come about.
“So what are we going to do now?” I asked my mother.
“First, let’s do a DNA test to be sure. Then we should ask for information in the hospital. Maybe we can also investigate in the birth register or something similar. It is important to first find the beginning of a thread that we can follow,” my mother, as always, pragmatic.

2 weeks later:

The result of the DNA test confirmed the assumption. My parents were not my birth parents. “For me my mother was still my mother, even though she is not my mother biologically. She raised, loved and always supported me. I think it is a difficult situation for her as well. Somewhere there may be a young woman who is her biological daughter.
The investigations in the clinic were not successful. The clinic would release no information . We stood in front of a wall of silence. How could we get information? The next alternative was to contact a lawyer to get information about it. Unfortunately this did not bring the desired success. So we were back at the beginning.
A friend then gave me the idea.
“That’s really blatant,” said my girlfriend after I told her the story.
“And you didnot get any information from the clinic?”
“No. We also had contact with a lawyer who described the legal situation to us and also confirmed the confidentiality of the clinic. No chance. I really do not know how to get information. ”
My tears started to rise slowly.
“Hey, I will help you and we will find a way.” My friend tried to cheer me up.
“Did you already try to post a call on Facebook. This story is definitely viral. And then there is certainly someone who has information. “My girlfriend was very excited about your idea.
The more I thought about it, the better I liked the idea as well. So get up to speed and collect the data and facts, specify the data and post. My girlfriend shared the story right away.
It was madness! After a short time, the story was actually shared more than 2000 times. In me again rose the hope; we could still find information.
After telling my mother about it, she did not like it at first.
“You have something?” my mother asked in alarm.
“I posted the facts of the story on Facebook and asked for hints. The story has already been shared more than 2,000 times,” I replied euphorically.
“Is it clear to you that you sat down in the glasshouse with it, and you undressed completely. Everyone can now enjoy your story. And are you sure it will bring you information?”
My mother was pretty annoying.
Nothing happened. The post was often shared, but there was no feedback. Another hope that was broken.

4 weeks later

Finally something happened. I had received an e-mail from a nurse at the university hospital who told me that she had been on duty on the premature baby ward. Although she had just finished the training and was allowed to look after the premature babies only with an older experienced sister, but there were at that time in the station in the period in question, only two girls as premature babies. Me and the girl who was swapped with me. Interestingly, we were born on the same day, which is very rare. That’s why she remembered the case . She said that it was probably an Arab woman who gave birth to the other girl. Interestingly, we were also released the same day.
An Arab woman. The thought never left me. Was that my mother? Is she wearing a veil like you see on TV? Funny why my first thought went to the veil. Maybe because the circumstances were so nebulous and I could not imagine anything else? If I actually came from an Arab family, would I still find my family here in Germany? Did you just come to Germany to give birth or did my father work here or is he still working here?
So many thoughts hit me in the head that I could not sort them all. Time to ask my mother.
“Did you know that at the same time as I was lying on the ward, another girl was lying there. She was born the same day as me and was released the same day. The nurse said that this was probably an Arab woman who had had the baby. Can you still remember anything?”
“You said an Arab woman who gave birth on the same day as me?”
“Yes exactly. You gave birth both on the same day and even almost at the same time. ”
“Now I remember again. The woman was lying in my room with me, but I did not know that she also had a girl in the premature ward. We did not talk to each other much. She could hardly speak a word of German and only a little English. She only had a visit from her husband. The only thing I know is that the man worked for an Arab company in the big city. ”
“Can you still remember the name of the woman or the man or the company?”
“No, I’m sure that was not talked about”
“Now we are one step ahead, but we are still at the beginning”
A search on the Internet for Arab companies in the big city did not really help me. Unfortunately, I had to realise that the companies can also have normal names. And I had no idea how I could find out if a company has an Arab shareholder. Furthermore, the company could long ago be closed again, it could be sold or moved to another city. Alas, another dead end.
And again, there was some rest for a while. No hints nothing. I still stood on the spot. After another 2 weeks waiting finally came another promising hint. An earlier neighbor of the family answered. After a short phone call, I made an appointment with her. After about an hour’s drive, I stood in front of a neat terraced house. After ringing, a slightly older lady, older than my mother, opened the door and asked me to enter the living room. She asked me for a coffee, which I gratefully accepted.
After I told her my story in detail and all the steps I had taken so far to find my birth parents, she told me what she remembered.
“The family moved to the neighboring house about 21 years ago, 2 years before the birth. The husband was an engineer and worked for a large company. Unfortunately, I do not remember the name of the company, but it had a very good position there. The wife was very reserved and hardly spoke German. After his wife had premature birth, your husband told me a lot. It was all alone after birth and all the fears of his wife and child surviving. The family lives in Saudi Arabia and he and his family were alone in Germany. We talked more often then. He was very happy when everything turned for the better and the child and his wife were getting better and better. His wife was Fatima and he was Mahmood. Their names were Ahmadi. The family comes as far as I remember from Mecca or surroundings.
The oldest daughter was called Safiya. The daughter who obviously was born with you at the same time is called Soraya. The family lived here for about 3 years and then went back to their homeland. ”
“Can you tell me more about the family?”
“Except that in the 3 years yet another daughter was born and another child was traveling. Unfortunately, I can not tell you more, because the family lived very reclusive. ”
“Many Thanks. You helped me a lot. I hope I can continue now. ”
“I wish you that with all my heart. But forget the woman who raised you, who did not give you all her love all these years. I understand that you want to get to know your biological parents. But do not forget your mother. ”
“Thank you. No, I will not forget that. She also wants to know what happened to her biological daughter. ”
Now I was a step further, I had names and a possible location. But still it was a long way to go.
What would I expect if I find my parents. It is a completely different culture, from which my parents come. Although, actually, I am also from this culture, I grew up only by a confusion in Germany and the west. The question comes to my mind, am I German or Arab at all? I have a German passport, but I have been confused. Is my pass still valid or is the pass invalid? I got hot and cold alternately when I think about these questions and the possible consequences. If I’m a German citizen, I’m of age, but is that also true in Saudi Arabia? Am I possibly also a Saudi Arabian citizen? And if so, what are the consequences? Am I of legal age under Saudi Arabian law? What rights and obligations do I have? Is my German passport still valid or is it invalid?
The questions and thoughts just rattled through my head without me knowing an answer. So first sort the thoughts and work off one after the other.
After a search on the Internet, at least it is clear that I am a German citizen. At least not stateless. But what about Saudi Arabia?
The information was much harder to come by and I do not know if it’s right. At least it may be that I am also a Saudi Arabian citizen, as I suspect that both of my parents are citizens and that I was probably born during the marriage. If further requirements had to be given I could not determine. In any case, the women have a male guardian from the next family environment, who is responsible for many legal acts. The woman is 2nd grade in Saudi Arabia. At least, that seemed to me after all that I had read.
“That’s all I’ve found out so far. It’s not much but at least I’m pretty sure I’m a German citizen. “I told my mother about all my research.
“I’m not further away with my parents. But I tried to email some Arabic students on Facebook to ask them to share my story in Arabic in their circles. Maybe I’ll succeed. “I was not sure if the story penetrated to my family.
“Are you sure you want to keep looking, after all you’ve seen for yourself that the woman in Saudi Arabia does not have the same rights as here in Germany? What if your father demands that you live in Saudi Arabia in the future? When you have to disguise yourself? “My mother asked me and hit the sore spot, which also caused me some headaches. Of course I had already thought about it, but achieved no satisfactory result. I decided to let it all come to me. At the moment I did not have anything in my hand. And if the viewfinder will succeed is not safe either.
“I am a German citizen mom. I have rights here and I will not let them take me. “I tried to dispel my mother’s worries and my own reservations.
“In addition, it is still completely unclear whether this search in Saudi Arabia is even successful. And then there is the DNA match I would ask for before, to be sure that it really is my parents. So there are still some hurdles to overcome. And in the end, I live my life and I do not want to dictate anything. ”
It’s strange, I’m looking for my birth parents and call the woman who brought me up and whom I’ve thought of as my mother all these years, still mom.
“One thing I would like to make clear: you will always be my mother. You raised me, sat by my bed when I was ill and comforted me when I wrote bad grades at school. I will never forget that. ”
My mother had tears in her eyes. We hugged and cried both.
Nothing happened in the next few weeks. No new hints and also my own researches ran into the void. It was frustrating. My mother kept encouraging me to go on and trying to help me even with your options. But I feared that it would be hopeless. The help of a friendly student who knew the Arabic language also did not help. I was about to give up the search. My mother had resigned early to never seeing her birth daughter. I think it helped that I told her she would always be my mother.
It had now been half a year since I had collected some information, but I did not know if everything was in line with the facts I had received. I had names I did not know if they were the right ones, I had a place I did not know if it was the right one. In other words, I had little to nothing. And I did not know what else to do. I had already considered switching on a detective. Only where should it start. What could I provide him with reliable data. Exactly nothing really.
“I have decided to stop the search. I do not think anything will happen. The post has been shared on Facebook many times, even in the Arab world, but the evidence is poor. Nothing with which I can deepen the search ”
“I understand that you are disappointed. You have done everything you could do. Such a search is very difficult and due to the long time that has passed since the day, many may not remember it. Also, many of those who were my age at the time, and perhaps could have provided clues, are not necessarily the Facebook generation. So do not worry. You did a great job. I never found out so much. “My mother tried to comfort me. And basically she’s right, I had done everything possible. Unfortunately, it was not enough.
I had stopped the search and took care of my studies when, surprisingly, I received an e-mail from a man unknown to me. When I started reading the mail, the adrenaline rushed through my body. Should the mail really be from my dad? I could not believe it.
“Dear Melanie,
Please excuse my bad German, but I have not spoken and written for a long time. I read your story on Facebook and I immediately realized that you are our daughter. At the time, my wife Fatima gave birth at the hospital you mentioned by caesarean section. It was a premature birth and we were then only able to look at you through a glass wall. How much we were happy when you got better and you finally got home. We have always thought that the girl we held in our arms is our birth daughter. How much were we wrong? We love the girl we thought it is our birth daughter just as before this discovery. We have gained a second daughter. Just as your parents have also gained a daughter. I think we have to see that positively and not look back with a piteous look. What has happened has happened and can not be changed. We should look positively into the future and make the best of the situation.
Your mother and I have 4 children, 3 girls and a boy. Everyone is well. The oldest is called Safiya and is already happily married and soon expects her first child. I hope everything goes without complications. We live in Mecca and I work as a civil engineer in a large construction company. I am now a department manager and have the responsibility for more than 150 employees.
We went back to Saudi Arabia after the birth of our third child, when your mother was homesick. It was not easy for you in Germany.
I would be glad if you could write me once. Your mother would be very happy too. For her, it was a shock at first when you told her about it. But meanwhile it has become understood that she has got another daughter. She also wants to get to know you.
Bye for now
Your father.”
I could not believe it. Should I actually be able to locate my parents. I could not quite believe it yet. I had to accept too many disappointments in my search, as that I had burst into euphoria.
“How are you feeling?” My mother asked.
“I’m not sure. On the one hand, I’m happy that my search was possibly successful, on the other hand, I’m afraid that the whole burst like a bubble. ”
“Did you already write to him? ”
“No not yet. ”
“Maybe you should ask him what the conditions were then. For example, doctors, nurses, clinic, etc. His stories we can match with my memories and we can see if his story corresponds to what actually happened at that time. ”
“That’s a good idea. I will ask you about it. Then I see if there is something in it. ”
“Dear Papa,
Thank you for your message. I had not expected to find you ever. And due to the many failures in the search in recent months, I would like to ask you to give me more details from that time in the clinic. Please do not get me wrong, but I think I could not stand it, if it turns out later that you are not my parents.
I am looking forward to your answer.
LG Melanie ”
“Dear Melanie,
I understand your fears, that’s why I want to give you some details. The doctor who shared your mother and the woman with whom your mother shared the room’s name was Kranefuss. The two were cared for by 2 nurses. An older and quite corpulent “sister Olga” and a young sister Andrea. Both women were released after 5 days.
Both of you had to stay at the preemie station because you were still too small.
I hope I could give you the necessary details. It would be nice if you are our daughter and you tell us more about you.
Bye for now. Your father”
“Mom, are you coming? I received an answer. ”
“It’s all right. The name of the doctor and sisters. Sister Olga was sometimes a real beast. ”
When my mother confirmed everything to me, I was totally euphoric. One look at my mother was enough to bring me down. Her eyes were so sad that I immediately knew what she was thinking.
“You will always be my mother. I’m grateful for everything you’ve done for me. ”
We both had tears and fell into each other’s arms.
“Dear Papa,
Thank you for your message. Everything was right. But to be on the safe side, I would like to ask you to agree to a DNA comparison. I once had the nasty surprise that my parents are not my birth parents. I just want to save this a second time. I think it is also important for you to be sure that I am your biological daughter.
Now to me: I grew up here in Lower Saxony, first went to school here at school and after 4 years in the next district town on the high school. Last year I graduated with a grade of 1.8. 1.0 is the best grade. Currently I study biology in Hannover in the 2nd semester. I am 165 cm tall, have brown eyes and dark brown hair that reaches down to my back (a photo attached). I am very athletic, train at least 4 times a week and like to meet with friends for coffee and chat. I like listening to music and reading thrillers. In August I travel with 2 friends for 4 weeks to the USA. New York, Boston etc. We want to travel the New England states.
3 years ago, my dad died. He had an accident that did not look bad. However, he had an artery torn, which led to a high blood loss. Unfortunately, the hospital did not have enough blood to compensate for the blood loss and because the bleeding could not be stopped, my dad bleed slowly.
It was terrible. I then decided to donate blood myself so that this would not happen to other people.Here, it has been determined that my blood type does not match the one that was in my vaccination certificate. After further testing it was clear that my parents were not my biological parents. That was quite a shock. All of a sudden everything is different. There are suddenly no more certainty. I then put myself in search and after a few trials and tribulations I have found you.
So much for now.
LG Melanie ”
” Dear Melanie,
Thank you for your mail and your photo. You’ve become a pretty woman. I am proud of you and what you have done. I would also like to meet you personally and at the same time to make the DNA matching proposed by you to get final safety. There is so much to tell and I’m also curious about you.
I could come to Germany if you’re back from the US. Then we can make the adjustment and talk about everything.
Soon to
Your papa ”
Slowly returned a normality. I had found my bodily parents with high probability and the last doubts would be eliminated by a DNA test. Is what interests me especially like the family in Saudi Arabia living. What I know about Saudi Arabia, I have from the Internet and newspapers. But how people live. The Internet and the newspapers will usually only reported general. I know that women in Saudi Arabia have few rights.
I was curious how my father would react to my questions. Is he so macho that hides the women in the house and only a few permits or is he a liberal man is making sure not excluded since he has lived in Germany for several years and my biological mother was not veiled, we with my mother has reported. And above all what he expected from me. Would he want me to judge me according to his wishes, or he accepts that I was brought to the west and have my own wishes and ideas.
The closer my father’s arrival came, the more nervous I became. Only now I noticed that we have not talked about whether my mother comes along or not. Incidentally, I have not yet spoken with her, only with my father. What was meant. My father was ultimately a macho, the “suppressed” his wife and daughters or had other reasons? Life like at all? What could be the reasons for it otherwise, why I have not yet spoken with her. And I’ve also spoken with my father only by mail. So wait and see.
The day went like chewing gum. But today is finally the day that I will meet my father for the first time. It is a pity that could not keep up my mother. But postponed is not abandoned. In a few weeks earlier or later, it does not matter.
Finally there it is.
“Hello my beautiful daughter how are you. In Natura you look more beautiful than in the photo. “Still, it seemed to me as if that bothered him anything. Although a smile played around his mouth, smile this I could not find in his eyes though. I had put on a breezy summer dress with spaghetti straps and relatively short skirt, given the heat of the day. Whether it probably had to do with the clothes?
“Hi Dad,” was all I could say before I was moved to tears. Finally, I faced my father. After a search of more than a year. As for me a little irritated, was that he did not take me in his arms. But that is perhaps connected with the culture and I did not press him.
We are then driven to his hotel, where he was initially made fresh. We then went to a restaurant nearby to talk in peace. My mother was waiting at home looking forward to a report. When asked whether they would not come, she just said she when I get a moment to see my father for the first time would just be for us.
“Do not you think that you’re somewhat incongruous dressed?” My father asked directly. I had to swallow and I knew why he previously looked so strange.
“What would be your opinion the appropriate” I asked back significantly supercooled after his question my euphoria abruptly in the basement has swish.
“You should cover you more. For an unmarried woman it’s better if they do not so freely enters the public. You grew up under Western influences, so I can understand that if you dress like other peers. I hope that when we are together, you cover yourself more.
Your mother would have sunk in shame in the ground, they would have seen you like this. ”
It was really hard to swallow what he has dished out to me.
“Should I go about obscure as well as in Saudi Arabia,” I shot back?
“What would be so bad. Every man would realize that you were an honorable and respectful woman ”
” And if I dress the way I am, I’m considered a whore? Is that what you want me to say? ”
I was getting angry. That can not be true, did not see me for almost 20 years and now only superficially acquainted and says to me having to make regulations.
“No so it was not meant. I think you’re an honorable and respectable young woman. And I will make thee no rules because I know that you grew up in a different culture. Excuse me, I did not want to offend you. I also want to make any rules you. I’m not used to talking about it with a woman other than your mother and your sisters. Add to that your mother and sisters cover themselves accordingly. So I was a little shocked at first when I saw you so freely. I’m sorry about it. I just want your best. ”
“It’s all right. I also have some overreacted. The whole situation is just so … I do not know how to put it. So unreal. I was incredibly happy to finally see forward you in kind and instead you’re talking to me about the clothes. That was at first like a punch in the stomach, but after some thought, I have to apologize to you. Because I know that we come from different cultures, I should have more consideration. I will heed it for the future. ”
“Thank you, that is very nice. I am sure that we will get along very well. How is the further planning. When is the test? ”
” The test is tomorrow morning at 9:00. With results, but can be expected only in the earliest one week. ”
“And what is the next day else on the program?”
“I thought you my mom apologize, meet my German mom and we otherwise spend time together around each other to get to know better. So much time is up to your return flight also not in the next 3 days. ”
“Yes, unfortunately. But for professional reasons I could no longer walk. ”
After the food was served, we have silently taken our food to us. Then I’ve told him one or the other anecdote from my life. After almost 3 hours we have adopted and until the next morning.
My mother was curious to know what happened so, and how my father is so. I told her everything. The episode with the clothes. My mother was a little skeptical about my choice of clothing the next morning.
“Melanie, you really mean that you have to cover so much? After all, we are here in Western Europe and not in Saudi Arabia. ”
“That may be, but I do not want to spoil it with my father right after we know only just learned. And what’s the big deal if I cover me something. In addition, it is also not as warm as yesterday. So it falls anyway hardly. “I tried to calm my mother. And I was even unsure. Is this my free choice, to cover myself so or is secretly the influence of my father? Ultimately, I came to the conclusion that it is my own decision, I only wear clothes that I already had anyway and yes even wear a headscarf. The skirt is a bit old, but he still fits like a glove and he is almost floor-length The blouse is Long Sleeved. Both I used already worn without that there was such a fuss about it.Well I have indeed worn only in the fall things, but today was a cool day so it was not unusual.
At exactly 8:30, I went to the hotel to pick up my father. On his smile I could tell that he liked what he saw.
You look stunning in my child. “Everything done right, I thought to myself.
“Thanks Dad, are you ready? Then let’s start ”
After a short drive, we arrived at the lab that would perform the test. When we entered the laboratory, the receptionist looked at me a little strange, but said nothing more. After logging in, we were asked in the waiting area. After a short time a doctor came and escorted us into a treatment room. After my father a little blood had been taken, we could go back.
“Do you have to deliver no blood” my father asked.
“No. My DNA is present. After there had been irritations with my blood type, I had already let along make a test with my mother. “I told him.
The next few days flew by. My father, my mother met. After both have understood a stone fell off my mind. All the days until the departure of my father I wore demure clothes. It did not bother me. On the contrary, I was proud when my father winked at me approvingly.
After my father had departed, I was thinking about the days we spent together. I think I can love him as a father. Although our start was a bit bumpy, so the last few days were very harmonious. At first I was indeed applied a little when he criticized my clothes, but I can understand him. On the one hand he knows something else from Saudi Arabia and on the other he has a point. The way I was dressed, who looked up to me the men and perceived myself as a sex object, because as a woman. In the days when I dressed myself flogger, I got barely hear lewd comments, which was quite pleasant actually, because I have always been vexed by those comments genuine.
Even though my father has since returned to Saudi Arabia, I’m still wearing demure clothes. I can not justify that. It’s a feeling I am him guilty. Where this is not the right word either. It gives me a good feeling when I clothe myself and think of my parents in Saudi Arabia. In addition, the comments and the dress fell significantly.
And I started after seeing my father something. I read the Koran. I want to understand my father and my family better. Surprised me that a lot of stories from the Bible are also contained in the Koran. This has somewhat surprised me. The stories I knew in part, but other parts were for me very difficult to understand. I will ask my father when we meet next time.
Finally.The test result is there. It is as expected. Paternity is confirmed with 99.9% reliability.
“Now you have found your parents. “My mother said with sadness in his voice.
“Yes. But you will always be my mother, ”
” Thank you. But I already feel your father’s influence. ”
” What do you mean? “I ask in surprise.
“Well. You dress very moderate, reading the Koran, hardly go out and when you’re pretty early back ”
” This is not so much noticed. Regarding the clothes on, because we had talked about it. But the other points were I not yet so aware. But now that you mention it is also aware of that. ”
“You should not let you so much influence. You are here grew up. Your family in Saudi Arabia leads a very different life than you. I understand that you want your father liked. But think of the cultural differences. You lead a free and unbound life here. You could be in Saudi Arabia do not lead. ”
” Why are you coming I could go to Saudi Arabia to the idea? ”
“I think your father will try to convince you that your whole family lives in Saudi Arabia. But I’m afraid if you would do that, you will be received as a primrose. Even if your Arab descent have, you have been brought up to the west. You had all the freedom to do whatever you want. That will not be possible in Saudi Arabia. You need your freedom. A freedom that will give you in Saudi Arabia, no one. ”
” But what about your daughter. Would you like to have no idea what happened to her is. Would you like to not see her again.? ”
“I would like it very much like to see. But she’s been brought up in Saudi Arabia, and is now married. Your father has not told her anything yet and I want to bring no discord in the family. I have resigned myself to see my daughter before. I think it’s better that way. And just as it is better for my own daughter to live in Saudi Arabia, it will be better for you to live here in Germany. I know that currently the excitement others up around your new family all in the shade and also leaves much to appear in a different light than it looks on dispassionately. That’s why I want to warn you emphatically, do not be too hasty and consider carefully whether it is really the right decision would be to go to Saudi Arabia. ”
I was torn. What my mother said sure had hands and feet. On the other hand, it is my long-lost family. The more I thought about it, the more uncertain I became.
The mails with my father were relatively kept short in recent times. I had written to him that the test has confirmed that he is my father. The reaction was different than I expected.
“Dear Melanie,
I am pleased that the test has confirmed what I already knew in my heart. You’re my daughter and a Muslim. I want you to you from now on as a good Muslim behave and also to dress accordingly. I will teach you the Koran, so that you find yourself cope in our religion.
I will come and in 2 weeks after Germany also bring your mother.
Soon to
Your Father ”
I have read the mail again and again. I did not know how I should interpret this mail. She was disturbing. So impersonal and demanding as far no mail. On the one hand I was happy to finally see my mother, on the other hand I was afraid of the meeting with my father. If my mother are right? In my doubts grew. What should I do? The more I thought about it, the less I knew what to do. Time I tended in one direction times in the other direction. After much thinking I decided to leave everything coming at me. He could kidnap me bad indeed and had a German citizenship. If he would therefore demand that I should disguise myself, or should come up with to Saudi Arabia, I can still cancel the contact.I am all the gotten along many years without my biological family, so I would continue this can. What I should therefore worry me.
Finally the day had come when my parents should arrive. Unfortunately, I could not pick up from the airport it because I had to write an exam. Finally I finished exam. I hope that went halfway decent. I could concentrate only bad because I had to make at this with my biological mother think again.
Let’s get out and into the hotel where my family is staying.
After I was too fast, the one time or another, I finally arrived at the hotel. My father was waiting for me already in the lobby.
“Hi Dad, where’s Mom?” I implored him.
“I see you dress still like when we saw the last time.”
“Yes. I have now got used to it. But I would now like to see my mother, ”
” Ok then come. Your mother is on top of the room. ”
After an almost seemingly endless elevator ride, we finally arrived. Wow I thought best category had chosen my father. Is a very pretty penny cost to reside here.
After a few meters, my father went to a door and opened it with the key card and we entered a suite. The room was huge and it was apparently only to the living area. But my mother was nothing to see. My father pointed to another door which I straight loss piled and ripped upon opening almost off its hinges. I could not expect my mother there to see.
What I saw after opening the door hit me completely off guard. There, sitting on the bed, a totally black veiled person. I was shocked. That should be my mother ?? How could that be. The neighbor had told me that my mother was a very pretty young woman with a great figure. Why do I see only a black cloth, clothes could actually do not call, completely encased woman. Before I could turn around and ask my father was stirring this black ghost.
“My daughter, at last I can take you in my arms. “They came with open arms toward me.
I was so shocked that I could neither move nor think clearly. What was going on here?
After I had not touched me, hugged me my mother. It was a strange feeling. She was completely veiled, nothing could be seen, and yet I had the feeling they felt right. I had never seen and yet I knew that it’s my mother. After I caught me a little, and she finished the hug she took me by the hand and pulled me into the room and closed the door. She urged me to put me a hand gesture at me. She did the same thing and wonder if I want to drink something.
“No thanks. ”
“I know you’re confused and frightened. I’m sorry about it. I had your father asked not to say anything because I was afraid you could run away. ”
” Why should I do. You’re my mother. ”
“Yes, but I was afraid. And now I’ve scared you so much. I did not. ”
” It’s ok. I have recovered from the initial shock. But could you please take off the veil ”
” Yes, but only today for our first conversation. You have to know the women in our family all live in purdah. We disguise ourselves completely, and especially any time. We sleep well disguised. Your sisters have never seen my face. With you I’ll make an exception because you grew up in a different culture. ”
What emerged was a wonderful and harmonious face of a noble in earlier times pallor. My mother looked at me with big brown eyes. It was a benevolent view. I knew immediately that I looked my mother in the eye.
“Why are you disguised. Your former neighbor told me that you did when you used to have here, have not fogged you. What has changed. My sisters also disguise?
“It’s a long time since we’ve lived here. It has since changed a lot. then your father had a good job here in Germany. I liked it here because everything was open and relaxed. Then suddenly and unexpectedly died your grandfather and your father was from one day to the eldest son of the head of the family. There was nothing left us others to return as back to Saudi Arabia. Your father had the job here and wanted in Germany. So we returned to Saudi Arabia. However, your father had no job and we had three children and the fourth was on the way. His uncle then procured a job your father, who was well paid. However, was this job and it is still in Mecca in a very conservative company.The owner is a very religious man and the whole family of your father’s employer is very religious and also influential. Would not your father took the job, he would probably not get another in Saudi Arabia, perhaps as a street sweeper, but having no way to feed the family.
As I said it was a very religious family and beamed into the company and also to the staff of. We got a house provided by the company in a very upscale area. However, this also meant that we had to adapt to the living. For your father the adjustments were lower. It was expected that he regularly went to the mosque. For me and the children of the change was much more serious. All women from the housing development followed purdah. And in a very strict form. They were all completely veiled and indeed around the clock, it was with not a single well to see just a little skin. If your father wanted to keep the job, I had to adapt to the customs. So I had no other choice but to disguise myself completely.And I do ever since. ”
“I’m sorry did not know what you’ve been through. ”
“That’s fine. I know what kind of reaction I have to people who see me for the first time. I’ve gotten used to it and quite honestly, I do not want to live without veil. I have before left here we are tried as to be without a veil and headscarf. When I saw myself in the mirror I was scared and felt uncomfortable. I wanted you not face veiled, but I could not. I have just tried again, but I felt uncomfortable and unsafe. ”
“That’s alright. And if you’re feeling better, you can also like the veil again prefer the face. ”
” That’s sweet of you. I feel, in fact, safer and more comfortable when I am completely veiled. I know you can not understand. I was so used to over the last 18 years that I can not about. ”
” I understand you. And now that I have seen you, it’s also perfectly OK that you have pulled the veil back over his face. It is important that I have found you. Everything else is unimportant.”
“Yes, I am also very happy that you found us. It is incredible that you have been reversed at the time and no one noticed anything. I have educated my daughter Soraya. Until recently, there were also absolutely no doubt. And now I have one additional daughter. How wonderful. ”
” My name would be Soraya and Soraya’s name was Melanie. White Soraya actually we were reversed? ”
” No, not yet. I wanted to see you first before I tell her. I’m afraid of how you will react. Finally, this exchange for each of you has set up a life that was actually not intended. Soraya has a pretty strong will and is sometimes a stubborn. ”
” Like my sister, pardon your sister ”
“I want to slowly and carefully prepare for it. It is just recently married. So I do not want to get too upset. When I tell her that is still strenuous enough. I just hope that your marriage is not suffering from it. ”
” Yes, it is a rather complicated matter, and if so how is your sister, then I do not envy you the task. Say, is not actually quite warm under the veil? ”
” Yes, but you get used to everything. Now let me not be mad, but I’ve also packed appropriate clothing for you. Although your father told me to leave it, as you would not wear such clothes anyway. But I could not resist. ”
“You mean such clothes as you wear them right now?” I asked totally aghast.
“Yes. But I see that your father was right. So the best you forget what I told you. ”
” But why have you wrapped things like that. ”
” I know that this was a stupid idea, but I thought there you my daughter are and all my daughters as I am in strict purdah live and in full and round the clock disguise, you would also do that. Of course that was completely naive of me to think such a thing. ”
My feelings hit somersault. I did not know, what I should do. I had my mother immediately grown fond of and she was hoping that I dress the way they and their other daughters, on the other hand, I am in Germany, grew up in the West and I know the discussions about the veiling of women. And here I sit, and do not know what to do. Normally I would have my shown over the bird and said it spins and it can be the stuff somewhere else stuck.
On the other hand there sat my mother today I first saw and with whom I had an invisible connection immediately. And I did not want to disappoint and not long after I had used to search me and then so long had had until I finally could see and in my arms really.
It was totally crazy, but I wanted to make my mother happy and I wanted them to love me like their other daughters.
“You know what, if you’re not comfortable wrapped up the things I try the least from.”
The shine on her face I could literally feel.
“Are you serious” to me excitedly asked
“Yes, and I wear the stuff as long as we’re together.”
“That’s wonderful. I love you my child. Come on, so that we can dress you. ”
I became mute little queasy, but so what, I could do my mother a favor. After I had completely undressed me, came over the underwear I was wearing, first black long-legged panties and a black shirt with long sleeves. Then thick black stockings were sold by the knee. Next, my mother tied me to a black headscarf. It could be seen only my face and hands. This was followed by a Überkopfabaya. When I spread his arms, I realized that the sleeves were attached to the Abaya with extra material. Thus my character was further obscured. After the gloves of the niqab came. My view was pretty severely limited. I could see not much.
“Done,” said my mother. “And how do you feel”
“Hard to say, but in any case warm” was my reply.
“Come introduce yourself time before the mirror,”
What I saw was exactly the same as before, when I saw my mother for the first time. Only black fabric.
I shot a thousand thoughts jumbled mind.
“When I see you like this, I have to say you were the ideal woman for the son of your father’s boss. ”
I fell into a sense of chaos. The idea to marry a man and live so obscured forever, excited me in a way I’ve never experienced it. I was dizzy when I thought about it. And the thought would not let me go. I tried something else but zudenken the thought kept coming back. I staggered back and forth slightly.
“What about you. Are not you well my love “my mother asked excitedly.
“No everything is ok” I tried to say as normally as possible. But I think my mother has been heard my excitement out of my voice.
“Come on, let sit, do not you still umkippst here.”
It was good to sit. My legs had become quite soft. Much longer I would not be able to stop. What was wrong with me. I’m sitting here in a hotel room fully veiled, and my mother’s statement about the marriage of a devout Muslim and a life of complete concealment lets me have an orgasm? Am I invested about masochistic? Or what is it? My thoughts raced through my only way round the head. I could not think straight. Such a state I had never.
“What do you think, even if you live here the next 3 weeks at the hotel. Then we could get to know us better and you could learn how it is to live in purdah. Space is enough. ”
“Yes that would be nice,” I found myself saying. I could not help but agree. And again the thought came to lead a strict vollverschleiertes life. And again increased the excitement.
“Are you feeling really good,” my mother asked anxiously. “Come here to drink first thing. It is important always enough to drink. ”
” Thank you. ” And indeed, after drinking a big gulp it went slowly improving. I came more and more to me.
“What was wrong with you”
“I do not know what was going on,” even though I knew better what was going on. But I did not bind on the nose of my mother.
“Oh it’s to pray at the time. Do you want to participate, I will show you how fond we pray? ”
“Yes, sure”. I’m not really religious, but I did not want to disappoint my mother.
My mother showed me step by step how to pray Muslims and I made the whole step by step. It was pretty complicated. The whole prayer was prescribed in detail. Not like Christians, always and everywhere simply fold his hands and pray to God. But it was an interesting experience.
“Do not you think you should inform your mother that you live the next 3 weeks here in the hotel.”
“Yes you are right. I call it the same at times. ”
It took seconds after it had rung for the first time that my mother had picked up the phone.
“Hi Mom”
“Hello Melli, and how did it go”
“Great, we got along very well equal. I’ll tell you later everything. I just wanted to say that I live the next 3 weeks here at my birth mother in the hotel, so we get to know us better. ”
” Are you serious ”
” Yes. Please do not be mad. But I have now just to be close to the need of my own mother. ”
” I’m sorry did not want to bother you. It just so surprising. ”
” I know. When I came here today, I had not thought of it, but my parents have put together a large suite so I have my own room. ”
“Oh. OK.Then log in between times. Ok? ”
” Yes I do. So bye see you soon ”
” Bye Melli ”
After I finished the phone call, I was grounded again. I realized how hard it is for my mother to share with my biological mother. I myself also had mixed feelings. I look forward effusively my birth mother to have found and to be able to spend time with her. But I do not want to disappoint my mother. She has done so much for me and was always there when I needed them.
Above all, I realized at once that I had telephoned fully veiled. I began to think what to do. Should I really spend three weeks here in the hotel, fully veiled? I really wanted that?
I had so many questions but no answers. My mother realized that occupied me something.
“You worry thoughts about your second mother. Right? ”
” Yes ”
“That’s perfectly fine. I will not take you away from it too. She has raised you and was always there for you if you threw sick or had other problems. I do not want you you have to choose between us. And if that’s easier for you, I just want to be a good friend for you. I would be happy if we can spend together 3 weeks. If you decide otherwise, I would be happy if we meet at least now and then in these 3 weeks. And if you want to dress you the way you’re used to is also fine. The main thing is that we can see each other more often. ”
I did not know what to say. My biological mother felt obviously exactly what was going on inside me.
“I want to be alone for a moment. Is this possible.? ”
” Yes, of course “and went into an adjoining room.
What I really wanted. In any case, I wanted to spend with my biological mother time. And as much time as possible. So I will spend three weeks here at the hotel. Should I really spend obscures the whole three weeks? My birth mother would surely love. But I would want that? On the one hand I wanted to do my own mother a favor after I finally can hold in your arms, on the other hand, I am educated west and could not understand why women liked the settled so to subdue the men and to completely obscure. I was torn. But the more I thought about it the more won the idea to make my own mother happy on back. And then came the idea of ​​saving me.I will disguise as my birth mother completely for as long as I could stand. If it is no longer, I’ll put on my old clothes again. So I can make my own mother happy without myself too much to pressure. When I decided to wear the clothes that brought my mother, I was excited strange. I pushed that feeling of getting to know my mother, but was not sure if could not be anything else but the cause of this feeling.to wear the clothes that brought my mother, I was excited strange. I pushed that feeling of getting to know my mother, but was not sure if could not be anything else but the cause of this feeling.to wear the clothes that brought my mother, I was excited strange. I pushed that feeling of getting to know my mother, but was not sure if could not be anything else but the cause of this feeling.
I went to my birth mother and told her what decision I had made.
“This is a very good decision that makes me very happy. I thank you. I would like to present, in the time we are here, like to show how we spend our day. But please tell the same if you do not want that. ”
” I would be delighted if you show me that. ”
“Wait you do not like the daily schedule is know. The day begins in the morning with the first prayer. This takes place after sunrise. The second prayer is held about 1.5 hours later. Between the two asked I read usually in the Koran. After the second prayer is breakfast, then I am doing really housework. Since we have to do any housework here, we read in the Koran. The same is true for the afternoon after lunch prayer until the afternoon prayer. After dinner by night prayer I deal with the Koran. We can also do here. And I will teach you the different prayers.
Is that okay for you”
Well what could I say. The most important thing for me was being able to be with my mother. So it was certainly only a small sacrifice and beyond that I would learn more from my mother and your circumstances. So I agreed.
“Maybe you’ll still a devout Muslim,”
I shot the thought from before again through his head. I completely disguised as strict Muslim and married to a strict man who spends her life in strict purdah. And again excited me this idea. But why this thought excited me. Was I about predisposed submissive? I could not explain it to me. This time I could control myself better and cool down time again, so that my mother probably has not noticed.
“We should start reading the Koran. I will explain to you testify to all the passages the importance of. Is that ok? ”
” Yes, of course. ”
The day flew by. After we started to read the first sura, first then came lunch, the noon prayer. Then we went back to the Koran on until the afternoon prayer. In between, showed me my own mother, as I keep up prayer properly and some explains. After the afternoon prayer and some prayer exercises, the dinner, which we took as well as lunch and breakfast in the suite came to us. It was initially unfamiliar to eat with veil and drink. After dinner we read more in the Koran and have gone after evening prayers to bed.
It was a strange and unfamiliar feeling with a veil to sleep. Asleep I could not succeed for some time. Initially walked me over and over again the events of the day, but especially my emotional chaos, through the head. I was sure whether it is not the right thing I did, but the thought of my birth mother and the excitement I had felt made me think that it’s the right time and again. The thought of spending a life in purdah, fully veiled with a stern man, excited me again now. I could not explain this to me. It contradicted just about everything as I grew up, which had taught me my mother and I had lived in recent years.
And ultimately, it is so if I do not want that, I just do circuit and return back to my normal life. Until then, I want the life that lives my real mother, to know and to savor in all trains.
At some point I must have fallen asleep. I had just fallen asleep myself when my mother tried to wake me up. What is this, I’m still tired. I tried to open his eyes and could see nothing. I panicked and jumped up.
“Quiet, it’s all right. I’m with you”
My mother’s voice. But where I am and why I can not see anything. Only slowly the memories came back. I’m at my birth mother in the hotel and slept veiled. So it is indeed possible as my mother said.
“Good morning, I was irritated because I could not see anything. ”
“That’s fine. This went on for me then too. but there are very fast. You’ll see in 2 to 3 days this is quite normal. It’s time for our morning prayer. ”
“Really, it’s still the middle of the night.”
“Error, the sun goes right on. You’ll get used to you very quickly. ”
My first full day as a fully veiled “Muslim”. Well I was not a Muslim, I did just that. This day was like the last. Again prayers and in between we have read in the Koran. My mother has told me a lot and taught on the prayers.
In the evening I was pretty tired and had to go to bed happy, especially since it will be up early the next morning. Normally I would chat at the time or with friends or sit in a cafe and talk, but today I was tired and just wanted to get to bed.
And again I was shaken gently. But this time I was relatively fast growing and was not shocked when I noticed was veiled.
“Good morning dear. Time for prayer. ”
“Good Morning. I’ll be ready. ”
This morning it was easier to get out of bed because I was rested. It really is no wonder when you go to bed so early. The last night also did not go me so many thoughts through my head, so I fell asleep very quickly. So made ready for a new day. This was like yesterday. My biological mother now has a little more extensive practiced with me the prayers and less read in the Koran.
The days passed. It was always to be veiled normal. Sometimes I was not thinking for some time about it. Only wanted to drink as something and suddenly the veil in the mouth had I realized that I was wearing the veil. After a week, my mother asked me
“How are you. You have one week carried the veil as if you had never worn anything else. Do you want to continue to wear the veil, or put back you your old clothes ”
” I would like to continue to wear the veil, I got used to it surprisingly quickly. It is very comfortable to wear. ”
” That makes me happy and makes me happy. What do you mean let’s take a trip, along with your father? ”
” What, you mean on the road? In this presentation. ”
” Yes, of course. But you recognize any. Through the veil, no one can see through. Everyone would think you’re a Muslim woman who is with her parents to visit here. ”
I was shocked. In the hotel room in presentation is ok. But the road is still a completely different level. In addition, the question came as a complete surprise.
Basically, my mother is right so, would recognize me none. And since lately more and more often tourists come here for medical treatment from the golf, veiled women no longer fall on that. But I was hesitant and anxious. It had been completely obscured its appeal to go out to the streets to test the limits. But I was still unsure. What if someone recognizes me yet. If one of my friends would realize that, then I would take me nowhere more impressive. The realized my birth mother and said that we do not have to go out today. We can still do the same the next few days. I was relieved.
Although the daily routines were always relatively similar, it was not boring me. The time just flew by. Two days later it was time. My birth mother had convinced me that we should continue our experiment outside the hotel suite.
Initially I was excited and quite nervous. In addition, I was overcome again this inexplicable excitement. Everywhere I thought, to see people staring at me. But who could not recognize me, so I was always quiet and relaxed with time. Around noon we were back at the hotel to pray.
“And how was it for you?”
“Initially, I was excited and nervous. I had to see the feeling people everywhere, staring at me. After a while I relaxed and calmed. And the longer we were there, the safer and more secure I felt. I felt more and more comfortable, so completely veiled. And towards the end of our walk, I saw a young woman who has just covered themselves scarce, and thought how can you walk around that way. not crazy right? ”
“No that’s not crazy. It is rather that you have to discover for yourself right track. And I’m pretty sure you all your way to the mine and your sisters will lead to a life of purdah. I would be very happy if I can convince you. But I will force you into anything. You have it for you want. ”
“Well. There are indeed one grade two weeks that I wear these clothes and whether I really want to live like this, I can at the moment the best will not imagine. “I tried to play with a casual statement my insecurity, but obviously not really, I managed , My mother had struck a nerve. When I lay in bed at night, I’d have to think more and more often because in the last days, what it would be forever to live a life in purdah. And every time I landed on my mind for a devout husband who makes sure that I lead such a life. Every time I thought about it, I was excited.
“I sense that you’re trying not to openly show your desire. But I realize in daily life that you feel comfortable and even today on the walk, you become more confident with time. You take the prayers very seriously, and our common Koran readings are you persecuting very concentrated. I am your mother and I feel that you feel more comfortable. There are sometimes several reasons, but the pass with time an entire image from. And this shows me a daughter who lives in strict purdah and her children also educates to devout Muslims. Or should I be fooled so much? ”
” I do not know. I have to think about it. ”
” Well, now let’s just afternoon do nothing, then you can think ”
After prayer and lunch, I’m thinking in my room to. Think about the situation, about me, about what I want. Initially shot me so many thoughts in my head. I tried to calm down. But my mother’s statements concern me very much. Could it be that they foresaw my future. No, this could not be.
By the time I became calmer and was able to sort my thoughts better. One thing is pretty quickly became clear, I love my parents. Although it is a totally different culture, but we get along well. Especially my birth mother has something like a seventh sense of my feelings and sensations. The more I thought about it, the clearer it became to me that my mother raised me, just that I could not. She could not, or only very limited, empathize with my feelings. This has become my only now aware really. My bodily mother felt, even though we knew each other only for 2 weeks as I think and feel. There must be an invisible connection between us.
But what I wanted? I really wanted to spend my life completely veiled in purdah, only leave the house if my husband allows me and then only when accompanied by a close relative. I wanted to completely separate from other people. I wanted to be a housewife and mother, with possibly a bunch of kids? I wanted such a life, or I wanted to study and have a job, realize my potential? 2 weeks ago I would have said quite clearly that only study and work out of the question for me. Later, possibly family, but not in the first place. After only two weeks to live like my bodily mother, I put my beliefs into question?
No, this could not be. I will continue after these 3 weeks with my studies and work then. Although it would be nice to spend time with my birth mother more time. But it’s better if I live my life. These thoughts are only due to the situation. As a matter of emotion, these thoughts came because I had especially the nerve-racking search found my birth parents after so long and. Also, being with my parents and this unusual life surely leads to these troubled thoughts. Viewed objectively, it will never happen that I equal to lead a life of my mother or sisters. I have been to the west grew up and educated. I was socialized here.
The idea would pass again when I return to my usual environment and my parents have returned to Saudi Arabia.
“I’ve been thinking about today and the last 2 weeks. I have you really fond of and would also like a lot more time to spend with you. And yes, I also thought about whether I could live the way you live. But I have a life that is different from your life. I study and would like to bring the study to the end and then work. That would not be possible for a life in purdah. Sure, there is a clearly structured and given life, different than what I have been living and to live up to. The third week I’m going to live my life together with you how to spend before, but after that I’ll be back. I hope I did not hurt you with my statement. ”
“But no, my child. I was a little hasty with my statements. And I can understand you very well. It would be a huge step for you if you would give your life up immediately and wanted to live a life in purdah. Let the impressions and sensations of the last 2 weeks and what’s coming at you, processed everything and think with a little distance to it. I will you never be angry or disappointed if you opt for a different life. You’re my daughter and will always stay there. ”
” Thanks, Mom, I love you. I’m glad you accept my decision. ”
” I’m your mother and your well-being close to my heart. And if you need something for your decision that’s perfectly OK. ”
Strangely, my mother is obviously still believe that I act like that will decide her me for a living, just not immediately. I think she’s trying so to alleviate their disappointment from. But it’s my life and I have to live and not my mother.
The next days were like the last days. We have taken another 2 walks and otherwise lived the same routine. Now the three weeks were up and the farewell was in order. It would be difficult. My mother that I had in which I knew nothing about her finally found after so many years would come out of my life again. Actually it was the other way around. I stepped out of her life and continued to live my life. In recent days, I had more and more often think of the farewell and the heart was heavy. My mother felt the same.
“I spoke with your father. We will respond as soon as possible to come back to visit you. ”
“That would be great. I miss you already. I’ll write to you how I feel, ”
” Yes, please. I wonder how my daughter. Once your father has cleared his schedule, we will be back to visit. I’ll talk to your father if we bring your little sister too ”
” Really. That would be great.Then I could finally get to know after you’ve told me so much of my siblings. ”
” I think it’s better if we leave now. I still have to pack and our plane leaves soon. ”
” Yes. I pull around quickly, then you can pack your things with. ”
” That’s not necessary. I had anyway brought things for you and I want you to keep. Please ”
This came as a surprise. I could not very well show up in the current presentation with my mother.
“You can change your clothes. For your things, I have a bag that you can use. “My mother guessed my thoughts again.
“Thank you.”
I went to my room and (of course not constantly the same) pulled the clothes I had worn the last 3 weeks and pulled the clothes with which I had come.
It was a strange sight in the mirror. No longer a black ghost, but a female that looked towards me from the mirror. Unlike the last 3 weeks, I felt naked. But I was glad that my skin breathe properly, I could see the normal world. But it was at first totally unfamiliar. And the feeling of nakedness remained even get some time to me.
After a brief farewell, my mother had so willed, I stood outside the hotel back to my old life. Will life go on as before? Above all, how would I face my mother. We have not seen 3 weeks and only 2 times speaking by phone. And only very short. I did not tell you much. Uncertain I was on my way to Haus.hung
“Are you going to donate blood today, dear?”
“Yes, I’m a bit excited.”
“Do not worry, everything is half so bad. A little stitch and then the blood runs. But do not get up immediately, but stay a bit longer and eat something after the blood donation. ”
“Yes Mama”
Finally the time has come and I am allowed to donate blood for the first time. If more people donated blood, my father could still live. Just because too few blood supplies were available, the doctors could not save my father’s life. Due to an unfortunate circumstance, an artery has been torn in the accident. The doctors could not close the artery, the blood loss was getting bigger. Ultimately, the blood was consumed. In closer environment there were no other possibilities to deliver these in time. This is how my father died, although this could have been prevented if there had been sufficient supplies of blood.
For me it is clear that I would donate blood in order to help other people who are dependent on stored blood.
“Melanie phone for you!” My mother called.
“Melanie Meier,” I answered.
“Annemarie Bungert from the Red Cross. Mrs. Meier I’ll get right to the point. The blood group in her vaccination record does not match the blood type we found after the donation, “Ms. Bungert said straight to the point.
“And what does that mean for the blood donation and for me? Can not you use the blood donation? “I asked, confused.
“Of course we can use the donation, it’s just that there is a wrong blood type in your vaccination record, which can lead to massive problems in the case of a required blood transfusion,” explained Ms. Bungert.
“Did you also check that out exactly?” I ask back.
“Mrs. Meier, we have analyzed this twice. After we found this deviation, we had the blood examined a third time and the third analysis showed the same result. The blood type in your vaccination certificate differs from the blood type detected. I suspect that the hospital was wrongly registered at birth. This should not happen, but obviously it happened. “Mrs. Bungert explained to me.
“But there is another possibility that, I hope, is not true. According to the vaccination certificate, you have blood type A, but in fact we have detected blood type B. Her mother has blood type A according to our records. I do not know her blood type from her father. It should be B or AB. Otherwise, parenting from your parents will be out of the question, “added Ms Bungert.
“What?” I had heard the words, but I could not sort them. That could not be. That must be a mistake. Or a mistake in the analysis.
“But how is that supposed to be possible, that I was confused? And it can not be that the analysis was flawed. “I clung to the last straw.
“Unfortunately, no. The analysis has delivered the same result 3 times. I’m sorry, “I heard Mrs. Bungert say before I hang up. This phone call had pulled the ground from under my feet. Everything that was safe in the last 19 years was suddenly in question. I did not know what was real and what was fake. My eyes went black.
“Dear, are you feeling better? What happened, what did Mrs. Bungert tell you, is anything wrong? “My mother wanted to know about me.
“Nothing is alright,” I replied only briefly
“What’s up, what did Mrs. Bungert say?” Was my mother boring, or is she not my mother? It’s all so confusing.
“What happened after my birth?” I ask abruptly.
My mother just looked at me blankly.
“Mrs. Bungert said I can not descend from you because the blood types do not fit together,” I harshly replied, since my first thought was that I was adopted and my parents had kept this from me for all those years.
“What, what did you say?” Was all that my mother could stammer.
“I have blood type B and not A as it is in the vaccination record,” I replied.
“I do not understand a word,” said my mother, still uncomprehending.
“You have blood group A and dad had blood group 0. This combination can never lead to blood type B, which I have. That is completely impossible. So it’s clear that I’m not descended from you. Did you adopt me? I asked abruptly
“No of course not. You are our child and you are not adopted. You know all the old pictures on which I was pregnant. And all the medical reports because you were born too soon. Do you think we invented it all? “My mother raged before she burst into tears.
“Sorry I did not mean to hurt you. But it’s all so confusing. I do not really know what to believe or think. That came so surprisingly. It is incredible and can not be dismissed. I know you would never lie to me. “I tried to reassure you.
“We should think carefully about what we want to do now and think about what might have happened. It is clear that I have a blood type that definitely excludes a descent from you. If you have not adopted me, there are really only two possibilities. Either I was swapped in the hospital or you had an affair. Excuse me if I say this so openly, but I do not know what to think at the moment. ”
“Do you really dare to cheat on your father,” my mother asked, tears now in his eyes.
“No of course not. It’s all so confusing, everything that was clear and clear before is completely different from one moment to the other and I do not know where it’s going to end. I only analyzed the alternatives. Since you did not cheat on dad, all that’s left is that I got swapped in the hospital, which does not make the whole story any better. ”
We both sat slumped in the sitting area and were silent. No one knew what to say. Everything that was still certain had vanished. Who were my parents, did they still live and if so where. And above all, how could such a thing happen and who is responsible for it? Questions about questions and no answers. I did not even know where to start.
“Honey we should first put together everything we know and then think about where to start researching. “My mother got caught again and began to analyze the problem objectively.
In the next few hours we wrote down everything and analyzed what we know. It was not much. I was born too early and came to a preemie ward in the hospital in the next big city. My mother told me how it all ended. Due to complications, the gynecologist has her admitted to the hospital. Since the district hospital is not set up for such a birth, my mother was immediately flown to the university hospital in the state capital. There my mother came immediately into the operation and I was born by Caesarian section.
Although my father was informed and then drove immediately to the district hospital, but came too late and then raced in violation of pretty much all traffic rules in the university hospital.
When he arrived, it was all over and my mother was in intensive care for observation.
I lay on the preemie station and was cared for there. My father could not see me or my mother like that.
It was not until my mother woke up again and there was no longer any concern that she was moved from ICU to a normal ward and my dad finally saw her.
Neither of them had any information about my health at the time.
A short time later, the attending physician came and informed my parents. The operation was without complications. I also felt well in the circumstances, but I had to stay at the preemie station for a while. My parents were only allowed to see me through a window at first. Slowly but surely I developed and after two months I was able to go home.
The birth was dramatic, but how could it be that I was mistaken. The time at the preterm station was completely in the dark.
I have blood type B, my mother has blood type A and my father had blood type 0. My vaccination card is blood type A. Since I can not descend from my parents due to the blood group constellation, it can actually only in hospital to this confusion have come.
“So what are we going to do now?” I asked my mother.
“First, let’s do a DNATest to be sure. Then we should ask for information in the hospital. Maybe we can also investigate in the birth register or something similar. It would be important to first follow the beginning of a thread that we can follow. “My mother, as always, pragmatic.
2 weeks later:
The result of the DNA comparison has confirmed the assumption. My parents were not my birth parents. For me my mother was still my mother, even though she is not my mother biologically. She raised, loved and always supported me. I think it is a difficult situation for you as well. Somewhere there may be a young woman who is her biological daughter.
The investigations in the clinic were not successful. The clinic has totally bricked and no information released. We stood in front of a wall of silence. How could we get information. The next alternative was to contact a lawyer to get information about it. Unfortunately this did not bring the desired success. So we were back at the beginning.
A friend then gave me the idea.
“That’s really blatant” said my girlfriend after I told her the story.
“And you do not get any information from the clinic?”
“No. We also had contact with a lawyer who described the legal situation to us and also confirmed the confidentiality of the clinic. No chance. I really do not know how to get information. ”
My tears started to rise slowly.
“Hey, I will help you and we will find a way.” My friend tried to cheer me up.
“Did you already try to post a call on Facebook. This story is definitely viral. And then there is certainly someone who has information. “My girlfriend was very excited about your idea.
The more I thought about it, the better I liked the idea as well. So get up to speed and collect the data and facts, specify the data and post. My girlfriend shared the story right away.
Madness, after a short time, the story was actually shared more than 2000 times. In me again rose the hope, but still find information.
After telling my mother about it, she did not like it at first.
“You have something?” My mother asked in alarm.
“I posted the facts of the story on Facebook and asked for hints. The story has already been shared more than 2,000 times, “I replied euphorically.
“Is it clear to you that you sat down in the glasshouse with it, and you undressed completely. Everyone can now enjoy your story. And are you sure you will come to information. ”
My mother was pretty annoying.
Nothing happened. The post was often shared, but there was no feedback. Another hope that has broken.
4 weeks later
Finally something happened. I had received an e-mail from a nurse at the university hospital who told me that she had been on duty at the preemie station. Although she was just finished with the training and was allowed to look after the premature babies only with an older experienced sister, but there were at that time in the station in the period in question, only two girls as premature babies. Me and the girl who changed with me. Interestingly, we were born on the same day, which is very rare. That’s why she remembered the case again. She said that it was probably an Arab woman who gave birth to the other girl. Interestingly, we were also released the same day.
Arab woman. The thought never left me. Was my mother, if she is even a veil carrier as you know from TV? Funny why my first thought went to the veil. Maybe because the circumstances were so nebulous and I could not imagine anything else. If I actually came from an Arab family, would I still find my family here in Germany? Did you just come to Germany to give birth or did my father work here or is he still working here?
So many thoughts hit me in the head that I could not sort them all. Time to ask my mother.
“Did you know that at the same time as I was lying on the ward, another girl was lying there. It was born the same day as me and was released the same day. The nurse said it was probably an Arab woman who had had the baby. Can you still remember anything? ”
“You said an Arab woman who gave birth on the same day as me?”
” Yes exactly. You gave birth both on the same day and even almost at the same time. ”
” Now I remember again. The woman was lying in my room with me, but I did not know that she also had a girl in the preemie ward. We did not talk to each other much. She could hardly speak a word of German and only a little English. She only had a visit from her husband. The only thing I know is that the man worked for an Arab company in the big city. ”
“Can you still remember the name of the woman or the man or the company?”
“No, I’m sure that was not talked about”
“Now we are one step ahead, but we are still at the beginning”
A search on the Internet for Arab companies in the big city did not really help me. Unfortunately, I had to realize that the companies can also have normal names. And I had no idea how I could find out if a company has an Arab shareholder. Furthermore, the company could long ago be closed again, it could be sold or moved to another city. Aslo another dead end.
And again, there was some rest for a while. No hints nothing. I still stood on the spot. After another 2 weeks waiting finally came another promising hint. An earlier neighbor of the family answered. After a short phone call, I made an appointment with her. After about an hour’s drive, I stood in front of a neat terraced house. After ringing, a slightly older lady, older than my mother, opened the door and asked me to enter the living room. She asked me for a coffee, which I gratefully accepted.
After I told her my story in detail and all the steps I had taken so far to find my birth parents, she told me what she remembered.
“The family moved to the neighboring house about 21 years ago, 2 years before the birth. The husband was an engineer and worked for a large company. Unfortunately, I do not remember the name of the company, but it had a very good position there. The wife was very reserved and hardly spoke German. After his wife had premature birth, your husband told me a lot. It was all alone after birth and all the fears of his wife and child surviving. The family lives in Saudi Arabia and he and his family were alone in Germany. We talked more often then. He was very happy when everything turned for the better and the child and his wife were getting better and better. His wife was Fatima and he was Mahmood. Their names were Ahmadi. The family comes as far as I remember from Mecca or surroundings.
The oldest daughter was called Safiya. The daughter who obviously was born with you at the same time is called Soraya. The family lived here for about 3 years and then went back to their homeland. ”
“Can you tell me more about the family?”
“Except that in the 3 years yet another daughter was born and another child was traveling. Unfortunately, I can not tell you more, because the family lived very reclusive. ”
“Many Thanks. You helped me a lot. I hope I can continue now. ”
“I wish you that with all my heart. But forget the woman who raised you, who did not give you all her love all these years. I understand that you want to get to know your biological parents. But do not forget your mother. ”
“Thank you. No, I will not forget that. She also wants to know what happened to her biological daughter. ”
Now I was a step further, I had names and a possible location. But still it was a long way to go.
What would I expect if I find my parents. It is a completely different culture, from which my parents come. Although, actually, I am also from this culture, I grew up only by a confusion in Germany and the west. The question comes to my mind, am I German or Arab at all? I have a German passport, but I have been confused. Is my pass still valid or is the pass invalid? I got hot and cold alternately when I think about these questions and the possible consequences. If I’m a German citizen, I’m of age, but is that also true in Saudi Arabia? Am I possibly also a Saudi Arabian citizen? And if so, what are the consequences? Am I of legal age under Saudi Arabian law? What rights and obligations do I have? Is my German passport still valid or is it invalid?
The questions and thoughts just rattled through my head without me knowing an answer. So first sort the thoughts and work off one after the other.
After a search on the Internet, at least it is clear that I am a German citizen. At least not stateless. But what about Saudi Arabia?
The information was much harder to come by and I do not know if it’s right. At least it may be that I am also a Saudi Arabian citizen, as I suspect that both of my parents are citizens and that I was probably born during the marriage. If further requirements had to be given I could not determine. In any case, the women have a male guardian from the next family environment, who is responsible for many legal acts. The woman is 2nd grade in Saudi Arabia. At least that seemed like everything I had read.
“That’s all I’ve found out so far. It’s not much but at least I’m pretty sure I’m a German citizen. “I told my mother about all my research.
“I’m not further away with my parents. But I tried to email some Arabic students on Facebook to ask them to share my story in Arabic in their circles. Maybe I’ll succeed. “I was not sure if the story penetrated to my family.
“Are you sure you want to keep looking, after all you’ve seen for yourself that the woman in Saudi Arabia does not have the same rights as here in Germany? What if your father demands that you live in Saudi Arabia in the future? When you have to disguise yourself? “My mother asked me and hit the sore spot, which also caused me some headaches. Of course I had already thought about it, but achieved no satisfactory result. I decided to let it all come to me. At the moment I did not have anything in my hand. And if the viewfinder will succeed is not safe either.
“I am a German citizen mom. I have rights here and I will not let them take me. “I tried to dispel my mother’s worries and my own reservations.
“In addition, it is still completely unclear whether this search in Saudi Arabia is even successful. And then there is the DNA match I would ask for before, to be sure that it really is my parents. So there are still some hurdles to overcome. And in the end, I live my life and I do not want to dictate anything. ”
It’s weird, I’m looking for my birth parents and call the woman who raised me and whom I thought to be my mother for all those years, still mom.
“One thing I would like to make clear: you will always be my mother. You raised me, sat by my bed when I was ill and comforted me when I wrote bad grades at school. I will never forget that. ”
My mother had tears in her eyes. We hugged and cried both.
Nothing happened in the next few weeks. No new hints and also my own researches ran into the void. It was frustrating. My mother kept encouraging me to go on and trying to help me even with your options. But I feared that it would be hopeless. The help of a friendly student who knew the Arabic language also did not help. I was about to give up the search. My mother had resigned early to never seeing her birth daughter. I think it helped that I told her she would always be my mother.
It had now been half a year since I had collected some information, but I did not know if everything was in line with the facts I had received. I had names I did not know if they were the right ones, I had a place I did not know if it was the right one. In other words, I had little to nothing. And I did not know what else to do. I had already considered switching on a detective. Only where should it start. What could I provide him with reliable data. Exactly nothing really.
“I have decided to stop the search. I do not think anything will happen. The post has been shared on Facebook many times, even in the Arab world, but the evidence is poor. Nothing with which I can deepen the search ”
“I understand that you are disappointed. You have done everything you could do. Such a search is very difficult and due to the long time that has passed since the day, many may not remember it. Also, many of those who were my age at the time, and perhaps could have provided clues, are not necessarily the Facebook generation. So do not worry. You did a great job. I never found out so much. “My mother tried to comfort me. And basically she’s right, I had done everything possible. Unfortunately, it was not enough.
I had stopped the search and took care of my studies when, surprisingly, I received an e-mail from a man unknown to me. When I started reading the mail, the adrenaline rushed through my body. Should the mail really be from my dad? I could not believe it.
“Dear Melanie,
Please excuse my bad German, but I have not spoken and written for a long time. I read your story on Facebook and I immediately realized that you are our daughter. At the time, my wife Fatima gave birth in the hospital named by you by caesarean section. It was a premature birth and we were then only able to look at you through a glass wall. How much we were happy then, when you got better and you finally got home. We have always thought that the girl we held in our arms is our birth daughter. How much were we wrong? We love the girl we thought it is our birth daughter just as before this discovery. We have gained a second daughter. Just as your parents have also gained a daughter. I think we have to see that positively and not look back with a piteous look. What has happened has happened and can not be changed. We should look positively into the future and make the best of the situation.
Your mother and I have 4 children, 3 girls and a boy. Everyone is well. The oldest is called Safiya and is already happily married and is expecting her first child soon. I hope everything goes without complications. We live in Mecca and I work as a civil engineer in a large construction company. I am now a department manager and have the responsibility for more than 150 employees.
We went back to Saudi Arabia after the birth of our third child, when your mother was homesick. It was not easy for you in Germany.
I would be glad if you could write me once. Your mother would be very happy too. For her, it was a shock at first when you told her about it. But meanwhile it has become understood that she has got another daughter. She also wants to get to know you.
Bye for now
Your father.”
I could not believe it. Should I actually be able to locate my parents. I could not quite believe it yet. I had to accept too many disappointments in my search, as that I had burst into euphoria.
“How are you feeling?” My mother asked.
“I’m not sure. On the one hand, I’m happy that my search was possibly successful, on the other hand, I’m afraid that the whole burst like a bubble. ”
“Did you already write to him? ”
“No not yet. ”
“Maybe you should ask him what the conditions were then. For example, doctors, nurses, clinic, etc. His stories we can match with my memories and we can see if his story corresponds to what actually happened at that time. ”
“That’s a good idea. I will ask you about it. Then I see if there is something in it. ”
“Dear Papa,
Thank you for your message. I had not expected to find you ever. And due to the many failures in the search in recent months, I would like to ask you to give me more details from that time in the clinic. Please do not get me wrong, but I think I could not stand it, if it turns out later that you are not my parents.
I am looking forward to your answer.
LG Melanie ”
“Dear Melanie,
I understand your fears, that’s why I want to give you some details. The doctor who shared your mother and the woman with whom your mother shared the room’s name was Kranefuss. The two were cared for by 2 nurses. An older and quite corpulent “sister Olga” and a young sister Andrea. Both women were released after 5 days.
Both of you had to stay at the preemie station because you were still too small.
I hope I could give you the necessary details. It would be nice if you are our daughter and you tell us more about you.
Bye for now. Your father”
“Mom, are you coming? I received an answer. ”
“It’s all right. The name of the doctor and sisters. Sister Olga was sometimes a real beast. ”
When my mother confirmed everything to me, I was totally euphoric. One look at my mother was enough to bring me down. Her eyes were so sad that I immediately knew what she was thinking.
“You will always be my mother. I’m grateful for everything you’ve done for me. ”
We both had tears and fell into each other’s arms.
“Dear Papa,
Thank you for your message. Everything was right. But to be on the safe side, I would like to ask you to agree to a DNA comparison. I once had the nasty surprise that my parents are not my birth parents. I just want to save this a second time. I think it is also important for you to be sure that I am your biological daughter.
Now to me: I grew up here in Lower Saxony, first went to school here at school and after 4 years in the next district town on the high school. Last year I graduated with a grade of 1.8. 1.0 is the best grade. Currently I study biology in Hannover in the 2nd semester. I am 165 cm tall, have brown eyes and dark brown hair that reaches down to my back (a photo attached). I am very athletic, train at least 4 times a week and like to meet with friends for coffee and chat. I like listening to music and reading thrillers. In August I travel with 2 friends for 4 weeks to the USA. New York, Boston etc. We want to travel the New England states.
3 years ago, my dad died. He had an accident that did not look bad. However, he had an artery torn, which led to a high blood loss. Unfortunately, the hospital did not have enough blood to compensate for the blood loss and because the bleeding could not be stopped, my dad bleed slowly.
It was terrible. I then decided to donate blood myself so that this would not happen to other people.Here, it has been determined that my blood type does not match the one that was in my vaccination certificate. After further testing it was clear that my parents were not my biological parents. That was quite a shock. All of a sudden everything is different. There are suddenly no more certainty. I then put myself in search and after a few trials and tribulations I have found you.
So much for now.
LG Melanie ”
” Dear Melanie,
Thank you for your mail and your photo. You’ve become a pretty woman. I am proud of you and what you have done. I would also like to meet you personally and at the same time to make the DNA matching proposed by you to get final safety. There is so much to tell and I’m also curious about you.
I could come to Germany if you’re back from the US. Then we can make the adjustment and talk about everything.
Soon to
Your papa ”
Slowly returned a normality. I had found my bodily parents with high probability and the last doubts would be eliminated by a DNA test. Is what interests me especially like the family in Saudi Arabia living. What I know about Saudi Arabia, I have from the Internet and newspapers. But how people live. The Internet and the newspapers will usually only reported general. I know that women in Saudi Arabia have few rights.
I was curious how my father would react to my questions. Is he so macho that hides the women in the house and only a few permits or is he a liberal man is making sure not excluded since he has lived in Germany for several years and my biological mother was not veiled, we with my mother has reported. And above all what he expected from me. Would he want me to judge me according to his wishes, or he accepts that I was brought to the west and have my own wishes and ideas.
The closer my father’s arrival came, the more nervous I became. Only now I noticed that we have not talked about whether my mother comes along or not. Incidentally, I have not yet spoken with her, only with my father. What was meant. My father was ultimately a macho, the “suppressed” his wife and daughters or had other reasons? Life like at all? What could be the reasons for it otherwise, why I have not yet spoken with her. And I’ve also spoken with my father only by mail. So wait and see.
The day went like chewing gum. But today is finally the day that I will meet my father for the first time. It is a pity that could not keep up my mother. But postponed is not abandoned. In a few weeks earlier or later, it does not matter.
Finally there it is.
“Hello my beautiful daughter how are you. In Natura you look more beautiful than in the photo. “Still, it seemed to me as if that bothered him anything. Although a smile played around his mouth, smile this I could not find in his eyes though. I had put on a breezy summer dress with spaghetti straps and relatively short skirt, given the heat of the day. Whether it probably had to do with the clothes?
“Hi Dad,” was all I could say before I was moved to tears. Finally, I faced my father. After a search of more than a year. As for me a little irritated, was that he did not take me in his arms. But that is perhaps connected with the culture and I did not press him.
We are then driven to his hotel, where he was initially made fresh. We then went to a restaurant nearby to talk in peace. My mother was waiting at home looking forward to a report. When asked whether they would not come, she just said she when I get a moment to see my father for the first time would just be for us.
“Do not you think that you’re somewhat incongruous dressed?” My father asked directly. I had to swallow and I knew why he previously looked so strange.
“What would be your opinion the appropriate” I asked back significantly supercooled after his question my euphoria abruptly in the basement has swish.
“You should cover you more. For an unmarried woman it’s better if they do not so freely enters the public. You grew up under Western influences, so I can understand that if you dress like other peers. I hope that when we are together, you cover yourself more.
Your mother would have sunk in shame in the ground, they would have seen you like this. ”
It was really hard to swallow what he has dished out to me.
“Should I go about obscure as well as in Saudi Arabia,” I shot back?
“What would be so bad. Every man would realize that you were an honorable and respectful woman ”
” And if I dress the way I am, I’m considered a whore? Is that what you want me to say? ”
I was getting angry. That can not be true, did not see me for almost 20 years and now only superficially acquainted and says to me having to make regulations.
“No so it was not meant. I think you’re an honorable and respectable young woman. And I will make thee no rules because I know that you grew up in a different culture. Excuse me, I did not want to offend you. I also want to make any rules you. I’m not used to talking about it with a woman other than your mother and your sisters. Add to that your mother and sisters cover themselves accordingly. So I was a little shocked at first when I saw you so freely. I’m sorry about it. I just want your best. ”
“It’s all right. I also have some overreacted. The whole situation is just so … I do not know how to put it. So unreal. I was incredibly happy to finally see forward you in kind and instead you’re talking to me about the clothes. That was at first like a punch in the stomach, but after some thought, I have to apologize to you. Because I know that we come from different cultures, I should have more consideration. I will heed it for the future. ”
“Thank you, that is very nice. I am sure that we will get along very well. How is the further planning. When is the test? ”
” The test is tomorrow morning at 9:00. With results, but can be expected only in the earliest one week. ”
“And what is the next day else on the program?”
“I thought you my mom apologize, meet my German mom and we otherwise spend time together around each other to get to know better. So much time is up to your return flight also not in the next 3 days. ”
“Yes, unfortunately. But for professional reasons I could no longer walk. ”
After the food was served, we have silently taken our food to us. Then I’ve told him one or the other anecdote from my life. After almost 3 hours we have adopted and until the next morning.
My mother was curious to know what happened so, and how my father is so. I told her everything. The episode with the clothes. My mother was a little skeptical about my choice of clothing the next morning.
“Melanie, you really mean that you have to cover so much? After all, we are here in Western Europe and not in Saudi Arabia. ”
“That may be, but I do not want to spoil it with my father right after we know only just learned. And what’s the big deal if I cover me something. In addition, it is also not as warm as yesterday. So it falls anyway hardly. “I tried to calm my mother. And I was even unsure. Is this my free choice, to cover myself so or is secretly the influence of my father? Ultimately, I came to the conclusion that it is my own decision, I only wear clothes that I already had anyway and yes even wear a headscarf. The skirt is a bit old, but he still fits like a glove and he is almost floor-length The blouse is Long Sleeved. Both I used already worn without that there was such a fuss about it.Well I have indeed worn only in the fall things, but today was a cool day so it was not unusual.
At exactly 8:30, I went to the hotel to pick up my father. On his smile I could tell that he liked what he saw.
You look stunning in my child. “Everything done right, I thought to myself.
“Thanks Dad, are you ready? Then let’s start ”
After a short drive, we arrived at the lab that would perform the test. When we entered the laboratory, the receptionist looked at me a little strange, but said nothing more. After logging in, we were asked in the waiting area. After a short time a doctor came and escorted us into a treatment room. After my father a little blood had been taken, we could go back.
“Do you have to deliver no blood” my father asked.
“No. My DNA is present. After there had been irritations with my blood type, I had already let along make a test with my mother. “I told him.
The next few days flew by. My father, my mother met. After both have understood a stone fell off my mind. All the days until the departure of my father I wore demure clothes. It did not bother me. On the contrary, I was proud when my father winked at me approvingly.
After my father had departed, I was thinking about the days we spent together. I think I can love him as a father. Although our start was a bit bumpy, so the last few days were very harmonious. At first I was indeed applied a little when he criticized my clothes, but I can understand him. On the one hand he knows something else from Saudi Arabia and on the other he has a point. The way I was dressed, who looked up to me the men and perceived myself as a sex object, because as a woman. In the days when I dressed myself flogger, I got barely hear lewd comments, which was quite pleasant actually, because I have always been vexed by those comments genuine.
Even though my father has since returned to Saudi Arabia, I’m still wearing demure clothes. I can not justify that. It’s a feeling I am him guilty. Where this is not the right word either. It gives me a good feeling when I clothe myself and think of my parents in Saudi Arabia. In addition, the comments and the dress fell significantly.
And I started after seeing my father something. I read the Koran. I want to understand my father and my family better. Surprised me that a lot of stories from the Bible are also contained in the Koran. This has somewhat surprised me. The stories I knew in part, but other parts were for me very difficult to understand. I will ask my father when we meet next time.
Finally.The test result is there. It is as expected. Paternity is confirmed with 99.9% reliability.
“Now you have found your parents. “My mother said with sadness in his voice.
“Yes. But you will always be my mother, ”
” Thank you. But I already feel your father’s influence. ”
” What do you mean? “I ask in surprise.
“Well. You dress very moderate, reading the Koran, hardly go out and when you’re pretty early back ”
” This is not so much noticed. Regarding the clothes on, because we had talked about it. But the other points were I not yet so aware. But now that you mention it is also aware of that. ”
“You should not let you so much influence. You are here grew up. Your family in Saudi Arabia leads a very different life than you. I understand that you want your father liked. But think of the cultural differences. You lead a free and unbound life here. You could be in Saudi Arabia do not lead. ”
” Why are you coming I could go to Saudi Arabia to the idea? ”
“I think your father will try to convince you that your whole family lives in Saudi Arabia. But I’m afraid if you would do that, you will be received as a primrose. Even if your Arab descent have, you have been brought up to the west. You had all the freedom to do whatever you want. That will not be possible in Saudi Arabia. You need your freedom. A freedom that will give you in Saudi Arabia, no one. ”
” But what about your daughter. Would you like to have no idea what happened to her is. Would you like to not see her again.? ”
“I would like it very much like to see. But she’s been brought up in Saudi Arabia, and is now married. Your father has not told her anything yet and I want to bring no discord in the family. I have resigned myself to see my daughter before. I think it’s better that way. And just as it is better for my own daughter to live in Saudi Arabia, it will be better for you to live here in Germany. I know that currently the excitement others up around your new family all in the shade and also leaves much to appear in a different light than it looks on dispassionately. That’s why I want to warn you emphatically, do not be too hasty and consider carefully whether it is really the right decision would be to go to Saudi Arabia. ”
I was torn. What my mother said sure had hands and feet. On the other hand, it is my long-lost family. The more I thought about it, the more uncertain I became.
The mails with my father were relatively kept short in recent times. I had written to him that the test has confirmed that he is my father. The reaction was different than I expected.
“Dear Melanie,
I am pleased that the test has confirmed what I already knew in my heart. You’re my daughter and a Muslim. I want you to you from now on as a good Muslim behave and also to dress accordingly. I will teach you the Koran, so that you find yourself cope in our religion.
I will come and in 2 weeks after Germany also bring your mother.
Soon to
Your Father ”
I have read the mail again and again. I did not know how I should interpret this mail. She was disturbing. So impersonal and demanding as far no mail. On the one hand I was happy to finally see my mother, on the other hand I was afraid of the meeting with my father. If my mother are right? In my doubts grew. What should I do? The more I thought about it, the less I knew what to do. Time I tended in one direction times in the other direction. After much thinking I decided to leave everything coming at me. He could kidnap me bad indeed and had a German citizenship. If he would therefore demand that I should disguise myself, or should come up with to Saudi Arabia, I can still cancel the contact.I am all the gotten along many years without my biological family, so I would continue this can. What I should therefore worry me.
Finally the day had come when my parents should arrive. Unfortunately, I could not pick up from the airport it because I had to write an exam. Finally I finished exam. I hope that went halfway decent. I could concentrate only bad because I had to make at this with my biological mother think again.
Let’s get out and into the hotel where my family is staying.
After I was too fast, the one time or another, I finally arrived at the hotel. My father was waiting for me already in the lobby.
“Hi Dad, where’s Mom?” I implored him.
“I see you dress still like when we saw the last time.”
“Yes. I have now got used to it. But I would now like to see my mother, ”
” Ok then come. Your mother is on top of the room. ”
After an almost seemingly endless elevator ride, we finally arrived. Wow I thought best category had chosen my father. Is a very pretty penny cost to reside here.
After a few meters, my father went to a door and opened it with the key card and we entered a suite. The room was huge and it was apparently only to the living area. But my mother was nothing to see. My father pointed to another door which I straight loss piled and ripped upon opening almost off its hinges. I could not expect my mother there to see.
What I saw after opening the door hit me completely off guard. There, sitting on the bed, a totally black veiled person. I was shocked. That should be my mother ?? How could that be. The neighbor had told me that my mother was a very pretty young woman with a great figure. Why do I see only a black cloth, clothes could actually do not call, completely encased woman. Before I could turn around and ask my father was stirring this black ghost.
“My daughter, at last I can take you in my arms. “They came with open arms toward me.
I was so shocked that I could neither move nor think clearly. What was going on here?
After I had not touched me, hugged me my mother. It was a strange feeling. She was completely veiled, nothing could be seen, and yet I had the feeling they felt right. I had never seen and yet I knew that it’s my mother. After I caught me a little, and she finished the hug she took me by the hand and pulled me into the room and closed the door. She urged me to put me a hand gesture at me. She did the same thing and wonder if I want to drink something.
“No thanks. ”
“I know you’re confused and frightened. I’m sorry about it. I had your father asked not to say anything because I was afraid you could run away. ”
” Why should I do. You’re my mother. ”
“Yes, but I was afraid. And now I’ve scared you so much. I did not. ”
” It’s ok. I have recovered from the initial shock. But could you please take off the veil ”
” Yes, but only today for our first conversation. You have to know the women in our family all live in purdah. We disguise ourselves completely, and especially any time. We sleep well disguised. Your sisters have never seen my face. With you I’ll make an exception because you grew up in a different culture. ”
What emerged was a wonderful and harmonious face of a noble in earlier times pallor. My mother looked at me with big brown eyes. It was a benevolent view. I knew immediately that I looked my mother in the eye.
“Why are you disguised. Your former neighbor told me that you did when you used to have here, have not fogged you. What has changed. My sisters also disguise?
“It’s a long time since we’ve lived here. It has since changed a lot. then your father had a good job here in Germany. I liked it here because everything was open and relaxed. Then suddenly and unexpectedly died your grandfather and your father was from one day to the eldest son of the head of the family. There was nothing left us others to return as back to Saudi Arabia. Your father had the job here and wanted in Germany. So we returned to Saudi Arabia. However, your father had no job and we had three children and the fourth was on the way. His uncle then procured a job your father, who was well paid. However, was this job and it is still in Mecca in a very conservative company.The owner is a very religious man and the whole family of your father’s employer is very religious and also influential. Would not your father took the job, he would probably not get another in Saudi Arabia, perhaps as a street sweeper, but having no way to feed the family.
As I said it was a very religious family and beamed into the company and also to the staff of. We got a house provided by the company in a very upscale area. However, this also meant that we had to adapt to the living. For your father the adjustments were lower. It was expected that he regularly went to the mosque. For me and the children of the change was much more serious. All women from the housing development followed purdah. And in a very strict form. They were all completely veiled and indeed around the clock, it was with not a single well to see just a little skin. If your father wanted to keep the job, I had to adapt to the customs. So I had no other choice but to disguise myself completely.And I do ever since. ”
“I’m sorry did not know what you’ve been through. ”
“That’s fine. I know what kind of reaction I have to people who see me for the first time. I’ve gotten used to it and quite honestly, I do not want to live without veil. I have before left here we are tried as to be without a veil and headscarf. When I saw myself in the mirror I was scared and felt uncomfortable. I wanted you not face veiled, but I could not. I have just tried again, but I felt uncomfortable and unsafe. ”
“That’s alright. And if you’re feeling better, you can also like the veil again prefer the face. ”
” That’s sweet of you. I feel, in fact, safer and more comfortable when I am completely veiled. I know you can not understand. I was so used to over the last 18 years that I can not about. ”
” I understand you. And now that I have seen you, it’s also perfectly OK that you have pulled the veil back over his face. It is important that I have found you. Everything else is unimportant.”
“Yes, I am also very happy that you found us. It is incredible that you have been reversed at the time and no one noticed anything. I have educated my daughter Soraya. Until recently, there were also absolutely no doubt. And now I have one additional daughter. How wonderful. ”
” My name would be Soraya and Soraya’s name was Melanie. White Soraya actually we were reversed? ”
” No, not yet. I wanted to see you first before I tell her. I’m afraid of how you will react. Finally, this exchange for each of you has set up a life that was actually not intended. Soraya has a pretty strong will and is sometimes a stubborn. ”
” Like my sister, pardon your sister ”
“I want to slowly and carefully prepare for it. It is just recently married. So I do not want to get too upset. When I tell her that is still strenuous enough. I just hope that your marriage is not suffering from it. ”
” Yes, it is a rather complicated matter, and if so how is your sister, then I do not envy you the task. Say, is not actually quite warm under the veil? ”
” Yes, but you get used to everything. Now let me not be mad, but I’ve also packed appropriate clothing for you. Although your father told me to leave it, as you would not wear such clothes anyway. But I could not resist. ”
“You mean such clothes as you wear them right now?” I asked totally aghast.
“Yes. But I see that your father was right. So the best you forget what I told you. ”
” But why have you wrapped things like that. ”
” I know that this was a stupid idea, but I thought there you my daughter are and all my daughters as I am in strict purdah live and in full and round the clock disguise, you would also do that. Of course that was completely naive of me to think such a thing. ”
My feelings hit somersault. I did not know, what I should do. I had my mother immediately grown fond of and she was hoping that I dress the way they and their other daughters, on the other hand, I am in Germany, grew up in the West and I know the discussions about the veiling of women. And here I sit, and do not know what to do. Normally I would have my shown over the bird and said it spins and it can be the stuff somewhere else stuck.
On the other hand there sat my mother today I first saw and with whom I had an invisible connection immediately. And I did not want to disappoint and not long after I had used to search me and then so long had had until I finally could see and in my arms really.
It was totally crazy, but I wanted to make my mother happy and I wanted them to love me like their other daughters.
“You know what, if you’re not comfortable wrapped up the things I try the least from.”
The shine on her face I could literally feel.
“Are you serious” to me excitedly asked
“Yes, and I wear the stuff as long as we’re together.”
“That’s wonderful. I love you my child. Come on, so that we can dress you. ”
I became mute little queasy, but so what, I could do my mother a favor. After I had completely undressed me, came over the underwear I was wearing, first black long-legged panties and a black shirt with long sleeves. Then thick black stockings were sold by the knee. Next, my mother tied me to a black headscarf. It could be seen only my face and hands. This was followed by a Überkopfabaya. When I spread his arms, I realized that the sleeves were attached to the Abaya with extra material. Thus my character was further obscured. After the gloves of the niqab came. My view was pretty severely limited. I could see not much.
“Done,” said my mother. “And how do you feel”
“Hard to say, but in any case warm” was my reply.
“Come introduce yourself time before the mirror,”
What I saw was exactly the same as before, when I saw my mother for the first time. Only black fabric.
I shot a thousand thoughts jumbled mind.
“When I see you like this, I have to say you were the ideal woman for the son of your father’s boss. ”
I fell into a sense of chaos. The idea to marry a man and live so obscured forever, excited me in a way I’ve never experienced it. I was dizzy when I thought about it. And the thought would not let me go. I tried something else but zudenken the thought kept coming back. I staggered back and forth slightly.
“What about you. Are not you well my love “my mother asked excitedly.
“No everything is ok” I tried to say as normally as possible. But I think my mother has been heard my excitement out of my voice.
“Come on, let sit, do not you still umkippst here.”
It was good to sit. My legs had become quite soft. Much longer I would not be able to stop. What was wrong with me. I’m sitting here in a hotel room fully veiled, and my mother’s statement about the marriage of a devout Muslim and a life of complete concealment lets me have an orgasm? Am I invested about masochistic? Or what is it? My thoughts raced through my only way round the head. I could not think straight. Such a state I had never.
“What do you think, even if you live here the next 3 weeks at the hotel. Then we could get to know us better and you could learn how it is to live in purdah. Space is enough. ”
“Yes that would be nice,” I found myself saying. I could not help but agree. And again the thought came to lead a strict vollverschleiertes life. And again increased the excitement.
“Are you feeling really good,” my mother asked anxiously. “Come here to drink first thing. It is important always enough to drink. ”
” Thank you. ” And indeed, after drinking a big gulp it went slowly improving. I came more and more to me.
“What was wrong with you”
“I do not know what was going on,” even though I knew better what was going on. But I did not bind on the nose of my mother.
“Oh it’s to pray at the time. Do you want to participate, I will show you how fond we pray? ”
“Yes, sure”. I’m not really religious, but I did not want to disappoint my mother.
My mother showed me step by step how to pray Muslims and I made the whole step by step. It was pretty complicated. The whole prayer was prescribed in detail. Not like Christians, always and everywhere simply fold his hands and pray to God. But it was an interesting experience.
“Do not you think you should inform your mother that you live the next 3 weeks here in the hotel.”
“Yes you are right. I call it the same at times. ”
It took seconds after it had rung for the first time that my mother had picked up the phone.
“Hi Mom”
“Hello Melli, and how did it go”
“Great, we got along very well equal. I’ll tell you later everything. I just wanted to say that I live the next 3 weeks here at my birth mother in the hotel, so we get to know us better. ”
” Are you serious ”
” Yes. Please do not be mad. But I have now just to be close to the need of my own mother. ”
” I’m sorry did not want to bother you. It just so surprising. ”
” I know. When I came here today, I had not thought of it, but my parents have put together a large suite so I have my own room. ”
“Oh. OK.Then log in between times. Ok? ”
” Yes I do. So bye see you soon ”
” Bye Melli ”
After I finished the phone call, I was grounded again. I realized how hard it is for my mother to share with my biological mother. I myself also had mixed feelings. I look forward effusively my birth mother to have found and to be able to spend time with her. But I do not want to disappoint my mother. She has done so much for me and was always there when I needed them.
Above all, I realized at once that I had telephoned fully veiled. I began to think what to do. Should I really spend three weeks here in the hotel, fully veiled? I really wanted that?
I had so many questions but no answers. My mother realized that occupied me something.
“You worry thoughts about your second mother. Right? ”
” Yes ”
“That’s perfectly fine. I will not take you away from it too. She has raised you and was always there for you if you threw sick or had other problems. I do not want you you have to choose between us. And if that’s easier for you, I just want to be a good friend for you. I would be happy if we can spend together 3 weeks. If you decide otherwise, I would be happy if we meet at least now and then in these 3 weeks. And if you want to dress you the way you’re used to is also fine. The main thing is that we can see each other more often. ”
I did not know what to say. My biological mother felt obviously exactly what was going on inside me.
“I want to be alone for a moment. Is this possible.? ”
” Yes, of course “and went into an adjoining room.
What I really wanted. In any case, I wanted to spend with my biological mother time. And as much time as possible. So I will spend three weeks here at the hotel. Should I really spend obscures the whole three weeks? My birth mother would surely love. But I would want that? On the one hand I wanted to do my own mother a favor after I finally can hold in your arms, on the other hand, I am educated west and could not understand why women liked the settled so to subdue the men and to completely obscure. I was torn. But the more I thought about it the more won the idea to make my own mother happy on back. And then came the idea of ​​saving me.I will disguise as my birth mother completely for as long as I could stand. If it is no longer, I’ll put on my old clothes again. So I can make my own mother happy without myself too much to pressure. When I decided to wear the clothes that brought my mother, I was excited strange. I pushed that feeling of getting to know my mother, but was not sure if could not be anything else but the cause of this feeling.to wear the clothes that brought my mother, I was excited strange. I pushed that feeling of getting to know my mother, but was not sure if could not be anything else but the cause of this feeling.to wear the clothes that brought my mother, I was excited strange. I pushed that feeling of getting to know my mother, but was not sure if could not be anything else but the cause of this feeling.
I went to my birth mother and told her what decision I had made.
“This is a very good decision that makes me very happy. I thank you. I would like to present, in the time we are here, like to show how we spend our day. But please tell the same if you do not want that. ”
” I would be delighted if you show me that. ”
“Wait you do not like the daily schedule is know. The day begins in the morning with the first prayer. This takes place after sunrise. The second prayer is held about 1.5 hours later. Between the two asked I read usually in the Koran. After the second prayer is breakfast, then I am doing really housework. Since we have to do any housework here, we read in the Koran. The same is true for the afternoon after lunch prayer until the afternoon prayer. After dinner by night prayer I deal with the Koran. We can also do here. And I will teach you the different prayers.
Is that okay for you”
Well what could I say. The most important thing for me was being able to be with my mother. So it was certainly only a small sacrifice and beyond that I would learn more from my mother and your circumstances. So I agreed.
“Maybe you’ll still a devout Muslim,”
I shot the thought from before again through his head. I completely disguised as strict Muslim and married to a strict man who spends her life in strict purdah. And again excited me this idea. But why this thought excited me. Was I about predisposed submissive? I could not explain it to me. This time I could control myself better and cool down time again, so that my mother probably has not noticed.
“We should start reading the Koran. I will explain to you testify to all the passages the importance of. Is that ok? ”
” Yes, of course. ”
The day flew by. After we started to read the first sura, first then came lunch, the noon prayer. Then we went back to the Koran on until the afternoon prayer. In between, showed me my own mother, as I keep up prayer properly and some explains. After the afternoon prayer and some prayer exercises, the dinner, which we took as well as lunch and breakfast in the suite came to us. It was initially unfamiliar to eat with veil and drink. After dinner we read more in the Koran and have gone after evening prayers to bed.
It was a strange and unfamiliar feeling with a veil to sleep. Asleep I could not succeed for some time. Initially walked me over and over again the events of the day, but especially my emotional chaos, through the head. I was sure whether it is not the right thing I did, but the thought of my birth mother and the excitement I had felt made me think that it’s the right time and again. The thought of spending a life in purdah, fully veiled with a stern man, excited me again now. I could not explain this to me. It contradicted just about everything as I grew up, which had taught me my mother and I had lived in recent years.
And ultimately, it is so if I do not want that, I just do circuit and return back to my normal life. Until then, I want the life that lives my real mother, to know and to savor in all trains.
At some point I must have fallen asleep. I had just fallen asleep myself when my mother tried to wake me up. What is this, I’m still tired. I tried to open his eyes and could see nothing. I panicked and jumped up.
“Quiet, it’s all right. I’m with you”
My mother’s voice. But where I am and why I can not see anything. Only slowly the memories came back. I’m at my birth mother in the hotel and slept veiled. So it is indeed possible as my mother said.
“Good morning, I was irritated because I could not see anything. ”
“That’s fine. This went on for me then too. but there are very fast. You’ll see in 2 to 3 days this is quite normal. It’s time for our morning prayer. ”
“Really, it’s still the middle of the night.”
“Error, the sun goes right on. You’ll get used to you very quickly. ”
My first full day as a fully veiled “Muslim”. Well I was not a Muslim, I did just that. This day was like the last. Again prayers and in between we have read in the Koran. My mother has told me a lot and taught on the prayers.
In the evening I was pretty tired and had to go to bed happy, especially since it will be up early the next morning. Normally I would chat at the time or with friends or sit in a cafe and talk, but today I was tired and just wanted to get to bed.
And again I was shaken gently. But this time I was relatively fast growing and was not shocked when I noticed was veiled.
“Good morning dear. Time for prayer. ”
“Good Morning. I’ll be ready. ”
This morning it was easier to get out of bed because I was rested. It really is no wonder when you go to bed so early. The last night also did not go me so many thoughts through my head, so I fell asleep very quickly. So made ready for a new day. This was like yesterday. My biological mother now has a little more extensive practiced with me the prayers and less read in the Koran.
The days passed. It was always to be veiled normal. Sometimes I was not thinking for some time about it. Only wanted to drink as something and suddenly the veil in the mouth had I realized that I was wearing the veil. After a week, my mother asked me
“How are you. You have one week carried the veil as if you had never worn anything else. Do you want to continue to wear the veil, or put back you your old clothes ”
” I would like to continue to wear the veil, I got used to it surprisingly quickly. It is very comfortable to wear. ”
” That makes me happy and makes me happy. What do you mean let’s take a trip, along with your father? ”
” What, you mean on the road? In this presentation. ”
” Yes, of course. But you recognize any. Through the veil, no one can see through. Everyone would think you’re a Muslim woman who is with her parents to visit here. ”
I was shocked. In the hotel room in presentation is ok. But the road is still a completely different level. In addition, the question came as a complete surprise.
Basically, my mother is right so, would recognize me none. And since lately more and more often tourists come here for medical treatment from the golf, veiled women no longer fall on that. But I was hesitant and anxious. It had been completely obscured its appeal to go out to the streets to test the limits. But I was still unsure. What if someone recognizes me yet. If one of my friends would realize that, then I would take me nowhere more impressive. The realized my birth mother and said that we do not have to go out today. We can still do the same the next few days. I was relieved.
Although the daily routines were always relatively similar, it was not boring me. The time just flew by. Two days later it was time. My birth mother had convinced me that we should continue our experiment outside the hotel suite.
Initially I was excited and quite nervous. In addition, I was overcome again this inexplicable excitement. Everywhere I thought, to see people staring at me. But who could not recognize me, so I was always quiet and relaxed with time. Around noon we were back at the hotel to pray.
“And how was it for you?”
“Initially, I was excited and nervous. I had to see the feeling people everywhere, staring at me. After a while I relaxed and calmed. And the longer we were there, the safer and more secure I felt. I felt more and more comfortable, so completely veiled. And towards the end of our walk, I saw a young woman who has just covered themselves scarce, and thought how can you walk around that way. not crazy right? ”
“No that’s not crazy. It is rather that you have to discover for yourself right track. And I’m pretty sure you all your way to the mine and your sisters will lead to a life of purdah. I would be very happy if I can convince you. But I will force you into anything. You have it for you want. ”
“Well. There are indeed one grade two weeks that I wear these clothes and whether I really want to live like this, I can at the moment the best will not imagine. “I tried to play with a casual statement my insecurity, but obviously not really, I managed , My mother had struck a nerve. When I lay in bed at night, I’d have to think more and more often because in the last days, what it would be forever to live a life in purdah. And every time I landed on my mind for a devout husband who makes sure that I lead such a life. Every time I thought about it, I was excited.
“I sense that you’re trying not to openly show your desire. But I realize in daily life that you feel comfortable and even today on the walk, you become more confident with time. You take the prayers very seriously, and our common Koran readings are you persecuting very concentrated. I am your mother and I feel that you feel more comfortable. There are sometimes several reasons, but the pass with time an entire image from. And this shows me a daughter who lives in strict purdah and her children also educates to devout Muslims. Or should I be fooled so much? ”
” I do not know. I have to think about it. ”
” Well, now let’s just afternoon do nothing, then you can think ”
After prayer and lunch, I’m thinking in my room to. Think about the situation, about me, about what I want. Initially shot me so many thoughts in my head. I tried to calm down. But my mother’s statements concern me very much. Could it be that they foresaw my future. No, this could not be.
By the time I became calmer and was able to sort my thoughts better. One thing is pretty quickly became clear, I love my parents. Although it is a totally different culture, but we get along well. Especially my birth mother has something like a seventh sense of my feelings and sensations. The more I thought about it, the clearer it became to me that my mother raised me, just that I could not. She could not, or only very limited, empathize with my feelings. This has become my only now aware really. My bodily mother felt, even though we knew each other only for 2 weeks as I think and feel. There must be an invisible connection between us.
But what I wanted? I really wanted to spend my life completely veiled in purdah, only leave the house if my husband allows me and then only when accompanied by a close relative. I wanted to completely separate from other people. I wanted to be a housewife and mother, with possibly a bunch of kids? I wanted such a life, or I wanted to study and have a job, realize my potential? 2 weeks ago I would have said quite clearly that only study and work out of the question for me. Later, possibly family, but not in the first place. After only two weeks to live like my bodily mother, I put my beliefs into question?
No, this could not be. I will continue after these 3 weeks with my studies and work then. Although it would be nice to spend time with my birth mother more time. But it’s better if I live my life. These thoughts are only due to the situation. As a matter of emotion, these thoughts came because I had especially the nerve-racking search found my birth parents after so long and. Also, being with my parents and this unusual life surely leads to these troubled thoughts. Viewed objectively, it will never happen that I equal to lead a life of my mother or sisters. I have been to the west grew up and educated. I was socialized here.
The idea would pass again when I return to my usual environment and my parents have returned to Saudi Arabia.
“I’ve been thinking about today and the last 2 weeks. I have you really fond of and would also like a lot more time to spend with you. And yes, I also thought about whether I could live the way you live. But I have a life that is different from your life. I study and would like to bring the study to the end and then work. That would not be possible for a life in purdah. Sure, there is a clearly structured and given life, different than what I have been living and to live up to. The third week I’m going to live my life together with you how to spend before, but after that I’ll be back. I hope I did not hurt you with my statement. ”
“But no, my child. I was a little hasty with my statements. And I can understand you very well. It would be a huge step for you if you would give your life up immediately and wanted to live a life in purdah. Let the impressions and sensations of the last 2 weeks and what’s coming at you, processed everything and think with a little distance to it. I will you never be angry or disappointed if you opt for a different life. You’re my daughter and will always stay there. ”
” Thanks, Mom, I love you. I’m glad you accept my decision. ”
” I’m your mother and your well-being close to my heart. And if you need something for your decision that’s perfectly OK. ”
Strangely, my mother is obviously still believe that I act like that will decide her me for a living, just not immediately. I think she’s trying so to alleviate their disappointment from. But it’s my life and I have to live and not my mother.
The next days were like the last days. We have taken another 2 walks and otherwise lived the same routine. Now the three weeks were up and the farewell was in order. It would be difficult. My mother that I had in which I knew nothing about her finally found after so many years would come out of my life again. Actually it was the other way around. I stepped out of her life and continued to live my life. In recent days, I had more and more often think of the farewell and the heart was heavy. My mother felt the same.
“I spoke with your father. We will respond as soon as possible to come back to visit you. ”
“That would be great. I miss you already. I’ll write to you how I feel, ”
” Yes, please. I wonder how my daughter. Once your father has cleared his schedule, we will be back to visit. I’ll talk to your father if we bring your little sister too ”
” Really. That would be great.Then I could finally get to know after you’ve told me so much of my siblings. ”
” I think it’s better if we leave now. I still have to pack and our plane leaves soon. ”
” Yes. I pull around quickly, then you can pack your things with. ”
” That’s not necessary. I had anyway brought things for you and I want you to keep. Please ”
This came as a surprise. I could not very well show up in the current presentation with my mother.
“You can change your clothes. For your things, I have a bag that you can use. “My mother guessed my thoughts again.
“Thank you.”
I went to my room and (of course not constantly the same) pulled the clothes I had worn the last 3 weeks and pulled the clothes with which I had come.
It was a strange sight in the mirror. No longer a black ghost, but a female that looked towards me from the mirror. Unlike the last 3 weeks, I felt naked. But I was glad that my skin breathe properly, I could see the normal world. But it was at first totally unfamiliar. And the feeling of nakedness remained even get some time to me.
After a brief farewell, my mother had so willed, I stood outside the hotel back to my old life. Will life go on as before? Above all, how would I face my mother. We have not seen 3 weeks and only 2 times speaking by phone. And only very short. I did not tell you much. Uncertain I was on my way home.

Part 2


4 thoughts on “The Surprise – Part 1

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