Jana’s Story

Following are emails from a real-life niqaabi sent to me in May 2018 – present

02/05/18

Dear Sir,

I found Tales of the Veils when i looked on internet, trying to find if any other girls like me. I see you ask for stories, so i write mine. I have to hide that i use internet, if i was found out… i think i be very hard punished.

So, my name is Jana, i am 19 years old now … i start my story from 9 years old, when my religion says i am woman. Until i was nine years old i was just an ordinary girl 😊  After nine year old i had to start wearing hijab and modest style dress, long skirt, loose top, as all devout Muslim girls would do. I did not mind too much, most of girls i mix with also dress same, …. but i did miss the freedom that i did have, cos now i was not allowed out without on e of my brothers ( they where 8 and 15) when i was 9 year old or out with my parents. At 11 my Father decide i go to girl only Muslim school, very strict. My older brother had got very religious, at Mosque all the time and he tell my Father that i must go to Islamic girls school. At the school we do lots of study of Koran and lots of lessons on cooking/ house management “so we would be good wifes for husband” When i 15 i am taken out of school and was taken by my older brother to family in Pakistan. My Father not in good health and my older brother sorta taken over as head of household. Pakistan was big shock, our family in village and i have to full cover, treated like third class. Then biggest shock, my brother tell me i am getting married, the man 25 and friend of family. I really try to say no, i say i am British passport and do not want to do. Brother says it is my choice, i can stay locked in room in family house, forever if needed, or marry and if my husband get visa move back to England.

I have to go now, cos husband back soon. i write again with next part my story, when i can, Jana

05/07/18

It is Jana Sir, long time .. but really, very, very hard me to get on my one to use pc. We still Pakistan, hard to get visa for husband to come to England.

So story carry on.

I spend my days in husband families house. His Mother, Father and one Sister with her husband. Life inside, Sister is 17. It is hard, his Mother direct me, cleaning, cooking, she is very strict. His Sister same life …. then we wait for husbands to come home. I have to be fully covered (like lots of girls woman who write in your pages) it really not nice. All black, very hot, uncomfotable. When my husband comes in he checks with his Mother if “i’ve been a good girl”  if Mother says yes .. then i allowed little relaxing time in my room. If she is not happy, then he will take me to his bedroom and i get smack bottom or corner time. His Sister and me try in whisper to talk, other day we get caught by his Mother. She gaggged us and our husbands decide we can stay gagged every daytime for week. Extra very hard, no water/food all day. My Brother has taken wife, sometimes we all go out. The men sit, eat, talk we three women have to knell in corner of cafe facing wall in silence. I canot escape, i have no papers and rest of village would not allow me to get on bus, just bring me back to house if i tried .. last girl that tried beaten by husband and chained in middle of village in full cover to be shouted at.

I hope we can get to England, but do not know if my life be any better, maybe this is rest of my life now

19/07/18

Sir, My husband find my writings to you 😞 i was in terror … but he read tail of veils stories and show his friends. Big suprise, he say i can carry on writing .. BUT he will read all i write to you and make suggestions what i say to you …

My husband tell me that he will have me completly docile and submissive to his wishes, like the other woman already. I can feel slowly that he take control. Now it feels normal that my dress is controlled by him and every minute of my day is organised by him. When he meets with his men friends the woman are put in the corner, knelling on floor, like we are posesions. They discuss us like we are children/pets to be used and controlled. Last night they have serious discussion about online talk they watch of Saudi Arab Sheik who gives advise on purdah. He suggest woman may tempt men if ANY shape of body can be seen .. so woman to wear ‘shield’ to cover chest. This he describe as extra long niqab in heavy material that hang down front to belly button level. Lead weights along bottom to hold down. This will be my new wear i am sure 😞  My husband tell me to write about this to you, he get pleasure out off seeing me embarrass by writing this. After finish he tell me today he take me to park for walk .. but that i will be FULLY covered, so fine net  over eyes, gloves, complete cover, so i will see very little.

It is hard to tell how bad it is to be fully covered when near 40c temperature. All black, and deliberate extra heavy material. Some in like nylon, so does not breath, inside you get hotter, hotter covered in perspiration. I have to walk two step behind him. with limited vision and i have to keep my gaze down i just look at heal of his feet. Maybe we stop at park cafe, he will drink tea with friends if they also walk there wives. If he thinks i have been bad girl he will make me stand in the direct sun, in silence with the other woman. If he good mood i can knell in shade, bowl of water on ground, i can lift my niqab and drink like a puppy dog.

Sir, i hope you OK my writings, i try real hard to make interesting like some of other woman/man who write on tail of veils. I must go now to get fully covered dress on to go outside, enjoy late afternoon walk time


Oh dear Sir,

I read again what i write. My English not good .. i do not use my English at all here .. so not good, in fact my husband does not really allow me to talk at all 😞 without his permission, but hope readers understand 😊

07/08/18

Hallo Sir,

I am thankful to Allah that you like my English and writing. My husband like to read your other writers and show his men friends. My last weeks have been hard .. it is VERY hot here, everyday over 40c and my room is extra hot. it has just one small window high up near celling with metal bars, deliberate so i cannot see out and noone can see in 😞

My husband friend in village take his first wife. She is very, very young looking and very quite and docile. I think she come straight from her Father house in nearby village. Her new husband treat her very bad, he shout at her and when i have seen them out in village he carry short stick and direct her with stick or hit her 😞 it make feel lucky that my husband not this bad to me. At moment he give up idea of visa for UK and take job in friend company. It means i am at home all day with list of house keeping, cooking, washing to do .. i cannot go out alone.

My husband and friends talk about different Saudi Shiek who say woman should have one eye covered ( other eye with net viel)  say cos two eyes might tempt men. I think husband and friends will serious do that tu us wifes, for real. Also few woman wear burka and he tell me that maybe he make me wear. I really do not want this .. but if he says i must obey, i am his wife. Now he sit drinking tea while he let me use his PC, then he will read before OK to send to you. It is late now and tonight he wants me in his bed to service his needs. He tell me bout how some culture have fgm to stop woman enjoying any time wife husband, he joke bout doing to me and then laughts to me.

I will write again if you are liking what i write 🙂

07/04/19

Hallo Sir, it is Jana in Pakistan. Sorry I not write for long time, the PC in house broke and my husband will not let me use his one 🙁 My life still very hard, but i learn to be a good wife wife guidance from my husnand and his Mother. I do not go out of house much, then only with husband. I now have list of housework, cleaning, cooking to do each day. i did complain .. but only got me punished 🙁 So now i try to be very good wife and do my house duties to best standard. I have now been fully coverd since i arrive, i relly do not like, very hot and not comfortable. My husband inspect me before he goes out and my Mother in Law watch me all the time, so i have to wear. Since last year i am kept gagged most of time cos i used to talk with his sister, she now gagged as well, this i really hate. I do try to be good, but sometimes he try to find fault with what i do, like excuse so he can punish me. Punishment can be corner time, smaCK BOTTOM, or he buy a punishment hood for me. i always beg him not to make me wear this .. it heavy leather and just tiny holes for nose to breath and tiny holes to see .. very hard.

I don’t think we come back to England, he has good income here and control over me which he couldnot do in England. He check what i write and wants people to know story,

Jana

08/10/19

Sir, it is Jana, i know long time .. but i have not had any pc i could use, hubbie not let me 🙁 But now he says i can message to you, as loong as he read first i say. I am still here in house, same village, i almost forget England. If i am good girl , well behaved , it is OK, BUT I HAVE TO OBEY husband and his Mother. Now i am in house nearly all time, doing cleaning, cooking, only out if with hubbie, then full, full cover, i do not like. Very hot and uncomfortable. My husband sometimes tricks me, talks with me, when i give wrong response/answer, gives him excuse to punish me 🙁 Few months ago he got me talking bout my western clothes i used to wear in London, showing me pictures of girls .. i make silly mistake, cos i say i like a denim skirt. It was really modeast style Sir, i promise. So he say to me ‘ok, you wanna wear denim again’ and i answer ‘really, you mean it’ thinking he eanted me to dressbit western style for him in bedroom .. next week he say he buy me some denim to wear, i was very excited Sir. But he buy a heavy denim hood, like scarf/niqab and force me to wear when we go out. It is horrible punishment he say cos i think of western ways. It is thick, stiff and i cannot move head around, and breathing very hard. No eye holes, so he guide me. He watch me write this, then he put me to bed, tonight i will have to wear all night.

He and his friends read your web thing, he say for me to say he likes stories verey much. it very late now, so i go.

Jana


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