by M.A Xalahuddin
Version for “Tales of the Veils” website.
Not for reproduction on other websites or in any other publishing format without author’s permission.
My name is M.A Xalahuddin I live in Pakistan. I’m a professional dom/trainer for slaves. Do share your reviews with me on firstname.lastname@example.org.
Today I will be sharing my 1st experience with you about how I found about strict veiling. So without further ado, let’s start.
Chapter 1: Encounter.
I was 14 or 15 years old at that time and used to live in an apartment. I usually used to stand on my balcony to listen to the songs on radio. One day a woman came completely covered, not even an inch of her skin was visible even her eyes were covered. She was hanging clothes to dry and I was just looking at her but didn’t said anything. A few days went by and this happened every day. One day I gathered up some courage and tried to talk to her but she didn’t said anything so I let it be and started to listening songs again and left it but the next day she threw a note at me and it said that they had moved in their apartment recently and she follows STRICT PURDAH so she can’t speak outside of their apartment”
I was glad that at least she replied. Then this became our routine I use to ask something, and she use to reply me with a note on the next day. This went on for few days then I asked her I would like to ask many things but it’s not easy to talk like this and would it be ok if I come by her house and we can talk easily, I knew she would be answering me next day. So I waited for next day but no note was given to me I felt sad so didn’t ask her anything on that day, but the day after that she passed a note saying “My husband has given permission for you to come to our home tomorrow at 5pm” I was very excited after reading this and thanked her and said “I will be there” and went inside.
Chapter 2: First Meeting
Exactly at 5pm I ran the door bell and waited but the door didn’t open, instead a note was passed from a slit saying, “Please wait for 1 min and then come and please close the door after coming in”. I waited for a minute then pushed the door and went in her apartment, but no one was there. I closed the door and went towards the lounge there as a glass filled with juice and a note was waiting for me under the glass. I picked it up and read it, it said, “Please feel free to ask anything you want I’m in the next room I will be answering all your question with notes” .Then I started asking my questions.
Q1: Why are you not coming into the lounge?
Ans: My husband has not allowed me to come in front of you.
Q2: Why are you not talking as we are not outside your apartment?
Ans: I’m not allowed to let my voice to be heard by any male who is not my mahram (blood related).
Q3: Do you always dress as you as I have seen you?
Ans: Yes. When I’m alone or some male is present in the apartment I dress like this.
Q4: How do you dress?
Ans: I wear an abayah,a scarf , 2 layers of niqab, gloves, socks over my clothes.
Q5: Do you also dress like this when you go outside?
Ans: No I wear more clothes while going outside.
Q6: More clothes?
Ans: Yes. I wear more clothes that hide my body shape completely and make me look fat.
Q7: Don’t you feel hot in all those clothes?
Ans: Yes I do, but it pleases my husband and ALLAH.
Then I asked few more questions and then I said “Thank you for letting me come to your house and answering all my questions. If I have any more questions I will ask you tomorrow” and was about to leave but a not as passed saying ‘Wait” so I again sat on the sofa and waited, then she passed a note. It said “ You are welcome and please after you go outside please wait outside the door my husband has written a letter for you and told me to give you when you are leaving”. I just said ok and when outside the door then she passed me the letter in a sealed envelope from behind the door and then the door was locked.
I took the letter and started my way to my home and I started to open the letter and read it.
Chapter 3: Invitation
The letter said “My wife told me that you are interested in the way how she dresses but if you wish to learn and know more about it besides how she dresses then just inform my wife to tell me that you have said “YES” to my wife and she will inform me but don’t say anything what’s written letter and nothing else and come on Sunday at 4 pm. But if you are not interested then no need to say anything about this letter”.
I was very thrilled that I got another opportunity to know more about her and I decided at that moment that I will say “YES” and will go on Sunday. I waited next day very anxiously for seeing her next day and telling her to convey my answer to her husband. Then next day I told her to tell my answer to her husband.
Till Sunday we didn’t talk except for a note saying, “I have passed your message to my husband”. And finally Sunday came and I went to their house on time but this the door opened but no one was to be seen I was about to enter when I saw the husband coming towards the door and welcoming me in his home. We sat in the lounge for some time and talked casually then he called his wife to serve us some refreshments that was the 1st time when I saw her full form. She was like a black ghost no eyes no hands no feet no voice only a black ghost carrying a tray with a bowed head; she just walked silently and placed the tray on the table in front of us and started to leave but her husband ordered her with a firm voice saying “Did I tell you to leave? Just wait here and I will call you when you will be needed”. Still no voice was heard, she just changed her direction towards the corner of the room and stood there facing the wall with her head bowed, while all this was happening I had my eyes towards her the whole time and kept looking at her while she stood in her place motionless like a black curtain. Now I was more interested in her than talking with her husband, but I was inspired by her husband as to how well she obeyed him without argument or hesitation. I was wishing to see what else he can make her do, then we both started talking to her without showing interest in her presence, but now we were talking how a female should behave and what should she do and what not. He explained all his thoughts on how he thinks a female should live her life. In different stages of her life according to him a female has 3 stages in life,
1st Stage child: When she should be taught how to dress properly and modestly, with whom she should leave the house, what’s her role in this world, what are her duties and where she stands in the society pediment.
2nd Stage Maturity: This is when she is trained and knows her place, her duty, her role, and all the domestic work that she should only know how to do. Educating a female is a waste of time and money, she should be taught that while she is unmarried she should stay under her father’s rules and her world under the roof of her father, her job is to keep the house clean and presentable.
3rd Stage Wife: There is not much difference in this stage except that there might be more or less rules compared with her father and she should always remember that this is her final stop now she will only leave her husband’s house with her husband or after her death.
While he explained his opinions, I kept stealing glazes of his motionless wife standing and listening to our conversation. We chatted for more than an hour and she just stood there trying her best to stay as still as she could, he scolded her to stay still or there will be trouble and as I heard the word “TROUBLE” I asked him “What does he mean by that?” and he started to explain that, “Females are stupid and can get out of control if they are not reminded to stay in line and for that we should punish them either instantly or with a time gap, the punishment is not only beating them it can given in many ways, in fact just making them afraid of what punishment she will get is a punishment, I personally prefer humiliation is better than giving them physical punishment, do you think that she doesn’t speak cause she doesn’t want others to listen to her voice.” Before I could answer he said “She stays quiet because she’s being punished for talking to our neighbour while standing on the doorstep. She’s gagged by my socks and she’s not allowed to take them out; the socks remind her to stay quiet because I don’t want other males to hear her voice; she can only take the socks out at night after she’s on the bed and ready to sleep or when I want her to talk”
He might have seen me not believing what he was saying but to prove it he then called his wife and told her to sit close to him and then I saw the black ghost moving to his side and kneeling on the floor next to his feet and just kept staring at him. Then I heard him say, “I think we should show him how you dress as he is not aware and interested in how you live.” Hearing this she raised her head but didn’t said anything. I thought that she might be pleading him not to make her do that he just looked at her angrily and she just bowed her head again and started to remove her niqab with her gloved hands and that was the 1st time I saw her face and I could see small tears on the edge of her eyes, and heard her husband said “Don’t just take them off also tell him what are the purpose of the garments” and hearing this she pulled the socks out of her mouth and placed it on the floor and then started to say with a shaking voice and picking up the niqab “This is a niqab it covers my face and eyes” then she picked up the socks and said “ These socks help me stay quiet and remind me that I need to do as my husband say” then she took off her chador (a very big scarf) “The chador helps me to cover my hair and covers my upper body and hands” then she started to remove the string from her glove-covered fingers and said, “These loops keep the abayah sleeves from running down.” Removing the gloves she said, “gloves cover my hands.” Then she stood up and looked at her husband with tearful eyes pleading with him to not to make her remove her abayah and she just kept looking at him without saying anything, but the husband got angry and grabbed her by her hair scolded her, “Don’t you understand when I tell you to do something you do it without asking and thinking; you just do as you are told, you should be thankful that I was being lenient with you because we have aguest but I think now you should be punished but first things first, do what you are told” and he let go of her hair and sat back on the sofa then the wife started to cry but started to remove her abayah showing her loose black clothes which she wore under the abayah and she said “ Abayah helps me to cover my body”, then her socks and said “They cover my feet and helps me not make a noise while walking”. After being dull on display I just kept looking at her and thinking that why to hide such a beautiful face and hair, milky white skin, big blue eyes and shiny black hair coming to her knees? I wanted to say that please do put your clothes back on but the husband spoke first and told her now to show me how she dresses when she goes out with him, and I just sat there looking the her standing there with tears rolling down her eyes.
She started to walk towards her room but the husband said we would have to wait for few minutes , I was just thinking that how well she is trained by her husband that she didn’t utter a single word except for what she was allowed to say , and then her husband told me to follow him as he entered the room he told me to come in there she was standing with her hair nicely in tight bun something looked different about her at that time but didn’t knew what then he told her to start dressing while she started to put few more similar clothes as she was wearing he husband said that he preferred that she wore 3 pair of everything before leaving the house as it will make her look fat and unappealing to others. In the meantime she had put on three pairs of loose black shalwar and kameez (traditional clothes of Pakistan for females), she started to put on her gloves, socks, abaya , undercap, chador and niqab, and now she was again the same black ghost which I saw on the very first day. Then she picked up a burqa and placed it over her head which hid her completely after she closed it from the front by holding it from the inside I just kept looking and then the husband placed a hand on my shoulder and said lets go back to the lounge and I just followed him and the wife followed me once again on the sofa he asked me “Did you got all your answers?” I started to say, “I don’t know what to say but I have few things to ask, if you don’t mind?” He told me to ask whatever I want to.
The first thing I said was, “Why hasn’t she put back the socks in her mouth?” Hearing this the husband laughed loudly and said, “You’re a quick learner” and told her to put back the socks in her mouth and then said “Next Sunday do come again and I will teach you more but today now her punishment is still due”. He called her close again and she came and knelt again just as before but this time with more layers and he started to lift her burqa and niqab so her face was visible again and then he told her to take out the socks as soon as the socks were out of her mouth he just kept looking at her and made her scared about what was about to happen to her, how she would be punished in front of me, in front of young boy she had just met. Then suddenly a tight slap was delivered on her face , it was so hard the she felt on the floor but she took her kneeling position quickly but didn’t made any voice. He then smiled at her and said this is just to tell how you will be punished now you know what to do, she just raised her head and stiffed her body, her husband delivered her another tight slap and said “That she have to stay still not to fall if she took ten slaps and don’t fall then her punishment will be over (delivering her another slap) but if she fell then we start over this repeats till I think she have learned her lesson or she takes then slaps” another was delivered she fell three time before receiving ten slaps without falling her face was completely red due to receiving so many slaps she was crying of pain but didn’t said anything and just placied socks , niqab and burqa back on her properly.
I saw it was 7 pm and said, “I have to go home as it’s dark outside and I will come next week to learn more from you and thanked him”. He welcomed me and started guiding me towards the door but before opening he called his wife again and said pointing towards me, “He’s allowed to come here any time he like, he’s like our son and you should do as he tells you to do just as you obey me and he have the rights to punish you and don’t worry he’s underage so you can remove your niqab in front of him. UNDERSTOOD!!?” She only nodded her head and then she was told to prepare his clothes as they were also going out.
Me and her husband said goodbyes and I left for my home. I used to visit them few times, sometimes for learning/asking something or sometimes just for fun. I was not aware but domination was growing over me and I use to enjoy watching her see as I told or watching her felling humiliation and pain while punished by me or her husband in front of us.
Next installment: Visit to the village in Afghanistan